For torificus' fic challenge. Requirements:

Fandoms: Enterprise/Stargate: SG-1
Pairing: Trip Tucker/Jonas Quinn
Based on: This picture -

Characters belong to UPN/Paramount and MGM/Gekko. No infringement intended, etc. Rated PG-13.

My first Ent/SG-1 crossover! Feedback would rock *g*.

*

There was a guy in his shower.

Trip rubbed at his face, making sure he didn't have shampoo in his eyes or that this wasn't some weird refraction in the water still pouring over his body.

Nope. Still there. Still a guy.

Not moving his gaze from the stranger, Trip fumbled behind him for the button that would deactivate the shower, and when it did he almost wished it'd start up again. After all, he was completely naked *and* facing down a complete stranger who, unlike him, was fully dressed. If soaked through.

Trip knew he should have been diving out of the shower, calling for security (or even a towel), but this wasn't the first time someone had just appeared on the ship. And plus...the man (alien?) looked really, *really* surprised, his eyes enormous as he stared at Trip.

"Uh," the man said by way of introduction. "I think Sam messed up."

*

Jonas Quinn, apparently, had travelled to the future. And possibly an alternate universe. They weren't entirely sure. But as far as Starfleet was concerned, they'd never heard of Stargate's or Goa'uld's, or some substance called naquadriah that Trip really wanted to get his hands on.

There had been some experiment with 'quantum mirrors', and Jonas suspected the apparently 'inherent instability of the naquadriah' had caused some kind of overload or surge and without even touching the mirror - which was usually necessary - Jonas had suddenly found himself aboard Enterprise.

In Trip's shower.

They were in sickbay now, the Captain glaring at Jonas until the doc gave him the all clear. No diseases, pathogens, or hidden biological bombs.

"Although," Phlox pointed out, turning from staring at the consoles to stare at Jonas, who was sitting on the edge of a biobed. "You don't seem *entirely* human."

"Well I'm not from Earth originally," Jonas explained, a lot calmer now and much more excited about his situation. The dry clothes probably helped. "Though my people were. They were taken from Earth thousands of years ago by the Goa'uld, to a planet we named Kelowna."

Phlox nodded his understanding. "And from there your development differed."

"Right."

"Interesting..." Phlox hummed to himself as he turned back to the console to fiddle with something. "Well, as far as I can tell Captain, this young man is in excellent physical health and poses no threat to Enterprise."

The Captain's glare barely lessened, his gaze moving quickly to glance over at Malcolm who was standing a few feet away, clutching at his phase pistol in a particularly phallic way.

Malcolm really needed to get laid.

"So, uh..." Jonas slid off of the biobed until he was standing, and the grin he displayed showed off more teeth than any one person should have been capable of owning. He was practically vibrating with happiness. "Do I get to see the ship now?"

*

Jonas liked to talk. A lot.

On the upside he didn't talk too quickly so pretty much everything he said was understandable, but on the downside...Jonas liked to *talk*. A *lot*.

Not that Trip was disinterested in what the guy had to say - some of the technology in his timeline/universe sounded downright fascinating (and that naquadriah stuff? Instability notwithstanding, Trip had now decided he'd sell off his entire movie collection just to see its potential) - but he had engineering to run. So he indulged Jonas' curiousity for a while, indulged his own for just as long, then pointed him in the direction of something shiny and let Malcolm watch over him.

He looked up from his work a few minutes later as Jonas laughed at something, and Trip saw that big, bright row of teeth again.

Man, that boy sure liked to smile a lot.

*

T'Pol had a theory. She always did.

The senior staff and Jonas stood around the consoles at the back of the bridge as she talked, trying to ignore the fact that Jonas kept staring at her ears.

Trip actually found it kinda funny.

But T'Pol stood straight, her hands clapsed behind her back as she explained her detailed and complicated belief that they had to do...nothing. That the effects that had sent Jonas here in the first place would eventually reverse themselves and he would just disappear.

Jonas had been working with T'Pol, explaining more about how the naquadriah worked, and helped her reach that conclusion. The boy was smart, freakily so. Hell, he'd learnt and understood engineering concepts in just a few days that'd taken Trip weeks to comprehend.

And he never seemed to be tired, always looked like he'd just woken up refreshed from a fourteen hour nap, was in excellent physical condition with seemingly no effort while Trip struggled to find time to get to the gym to work off that last slice of pecan pie, and why in the hell was he focusing on how fit Jonas was anyway?

The guy *aggravated* him.

Trip couldn't wait for him to leave.

*

"This is stupid."

"It's not stupid."

"Jonas, we are standing in my *shower*. I'm *naked*, and you get to stand there fully clothed. Explain to me which part of this isn't stupid."

Damn Vulcans. Damn Kelownans. Figuring things out and deciding that, for this to work, things had to be exactly as they were before, at least in a ten foot section around where Jonas had first appeared.

Yeah, Trip knew he should be turning the water on. But he was grumpy, and rightly so. They still had no idea when Jonas was going to disappear; who knew how long he'd have to stand here for?

The only saving grace was that Malcolm was no longer guarding Jonas, because the image of Malcolm standing just outside the shower, grasping his phallic phase pistol? Not his idea of a good day.

Not that this was either.

"It's not like you have anything to worry about, Commander."

Trip blinked as he tried to comprehend the words he'd just heard. "What?"

"I'm just saying," Jonas smiled openly, "your body's in very good condition. You shouldn't be worried about anyone else seeing it."

Trip's brain quite possibly broke down. He stared at the man he'd known for less than a week. "What planet are you *from*?"

Jonas frowned, obviously confused. "Kelowna."

Now it snapped in two. "Did you just tell me I look good naked?"

The frown stayed in place. "But you do."

But...but... "Who *talks* like that? *No* one talks like that! No one except you with your big ass grins and sticky-up hair and your stomach the size of an elephant but a chest I could bounce a quarter off of and..." Wait, he looked good naked. There was a compliment there somewhere. He could feel it.

Jonas was still frowning.

Trip's brain had disintegrated completely. Which might have explained why he stepped forward, grabbed Jonas, and kissed him.

*

Trip knew Jonas had lied about needing to be in the shower even as he listened to him explain that he'd fudged the calculations when T'Pol wasn't looking. The understanding had come to him a few minutes earlier as they lay on the hard - though now wet - shower floor, Jonas' naked form snuggled against his.

After all, the 'I deliberately messed up my calculations so I could have shower sex with an antagonistic engineer from another time/universe/point in space' ploy?

Worked every time.

~FINIS

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