Disclaimer - Well, yeah. ABC own them. Sort of.
Ahem. Don't take this seriously, either. Rated PG-13 for swearing. Quite a bit of it.
*
Howdy, nice to meet you.
Well, if you could actually hear me you'd know that I'd said that, but as you can't hear me some would say that it's rather moot me trying to establish a dialogue.
Doesn't mean I'm not gonna try.
What is life, after all, if we don't try?
He taught me that. My Owner. We spend a lot of time together, usually just the two of us. Occasionally there'll be someone else there, but they only ever talk about things I don't understand. I'm sure that if I'd seen more of everything around me I'd know, but my experiences are limited. Even with him.
He makes up for it. He is so attentive and so loving when I know he could be doing other things. Heck, they aren't many people who would give me as much attention as he does.
I still miss my siblings, but he's worth the sacrifice. I heard from a new Cup that Little Wine Glass found her way into a very expensive place where she'll be very well treated. I'm so happy that it makes my brim widen just thinking about it.
I have a favourite spot that he perches me on from time to time. Every now and then he'll put me on Table right next to Window. From there I can see out into everything outside The Room, as I'm doing now. I never go outside The Room, and haven't been since he first brought me here. Not that I mind. Some might think it...lonely? Confined?
Not in the least.
True, in the hours between his time here it can get rather depressing, but I know that the longer I'm in The Room, the sooner he'll return.
Water begins to splatter on the outside of Window, and I watch people on the sidewalks scurrying for cover as the rain falls harder. Sighing, my bottom rattling quietly against Table (who objects rather loudly), I try to inch forward a little. I miss the rain. He left Window open once when he went out, and it started raining. It's not the same as being washed. That's harsh, brisk, bruising...but the rain...
Liquid bliss.
Gentle, caressing.
Like his hands.
Thinking of his hands I sigh again, and produce a giddy smile.
Just as Light Bulb in Lamp on the other side of Table starts to make conversation, the distinctive sound of his apartment door being unlocked is heard. I shhh Light Bulb immediately, and she quickly squeals and turns herself off.
The door to The Room swings open, and he strides in...not alone.
Not alone.
Not.
Alone.
There's been someone else before, but never her.
Look at her! Look at The Slut! With her big, brown bouncy curls and her tight clothing. Shameless hussy.
I unintentionally begin to rattle on Table but with a quick nod of her shade Lamp warns me what I'm doing and I force myself to stop.
He and the woman don't even notice.
They're too busy...doing other stuff.
I can't describe it. It's too hideous.
Oh...
All right!
But you forced it out of me!!
The woman sits down on Bed - poor, poor Bed having to put up with an ass that size - and My Owner leaves The Room. In the interim during his absence, we quietly mutter amongst ourselves in a way that The Slut can't hear.
Bed tells Carpet how much she weighs and everyone snickers.
I must snicker a bit too loudly because The Slut looks at me suddenly, as if hearing something.
It's all Table can do to stop himself laughing out loud. To make matters worse I can feel him shaking, trying to keep his humour in.
I tell ya, you haven't heard anyone laugh until you've heard Table laugh. It's the kind of laugh that resonates all the way to your maker's seal.
Somewhere on the other side of the room, Bedside Table is trying to convince Telephone that she really doesn't want to start ringing right now because she's having so much fun.
My Owner returns, and everyone manages to behave themselves.
Except, apparently The Slut. Because...she...she...
SHE'S MADE HIM BRING IN TWO CUPS OF COFFEE!
COFFEE?!!!
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT????!!!!!!
I feel so much better for sharing that. I'm very easily agitated.
This isn't Irish coffee, either. Normal coffee. Coffee. From COFFEE beans.
N
O
A
L
C
O
H
O
L
!
I start to weep even as Coffee Cup #1 and Coffee Cup #2 scream with joy at being used.
Light Bulb does what she can to console me, but it's useless. Even Paperclip - who fell down the back of Table two weeks ago - gives it a try, but to no avail.
Just as I'm at my lowest, my absolute worst...
It gets worse.
My Owner and The Slut start talking. About what, I'm not sure at first, but then they both stand, place the Coffee Cups to one side, and walk towards Table. And me.
The Slut picks me up and - although I hate to admit it - she does feel very nice. Murmuring something quietly, she passes me to My Owner who...
Takes me in his grasp.
His grasp. Those wonderful, sensitive hands.
I almost pass out.
My tears start to dry as he lifts me up and I realise that it was all a wonderful mistake! I haven't been replaced, he was just trying something new! Experimenting. It's to be expected, I suppose. And forgivable.
I continue to move up in his hand and I know what he's going to do, I know he's going to do what he's done a thousand times before...
He doesn't.
He doesn't fill me up, doesn't pour more liquid bliss into my centre.
With his firm but soft lips, he brushes a kiss against me.
My sides turn to jelly.
And then my world falls apart.
He lets me go. I cannot believe it at first, cannot believe that he would do this to me, but as I fall, fall, down, down, hearing the disbelieving screams of the rest of The Room, my entire life flashes through my mind...
...my first taste of awareness, inside the box...
...on the shelf, among my family...
...being taken away, crying...
...only to experience his touch for the first time and knowing that he was my destiny...
...the first time he filled me up...
...the first touch of his lips against my rim...
...the rain falling on me...
...all the times he talked to me with words I didn't understand but a sentiment that was clear...
...how he over-reacted when he accidentally chipped me...
...his name for me...
..."Diane,"...
I land, unbroken, inside Bin.
Bin, with his evil, disgusting laugh. Bin, who laughs, and laughs, and laughs.
Bin, forever mistreated, and forever taking revenge.
I sob, as My Owner...My Former Owner...and The Slut walk away.
Over Bin's laughing I hear them talking and...he calls her Diane.
That's me! That's my name!
I'M DIANE!
They begin making noises I've often heard from the next apartment and in sheer horror I start to sob again.
Shredded Paper, wise beyond her weeks, wraps her pieces around me.
I shut it all out. Bin's laughing, My Former Owner and The Slut, Light Bulb's desperate pleas asking where I am, Bed's squeaks of horror...everything. All of my senses.
Except for Shredded Paper. Except for Shredded Paper in whose grasp I rest as she hums to me and I quietly wish that soon I'll be broken and go to the Great Decanter in the sky.
~FINIS