Disclaimer - Showtime/CowLip own them, etc etc. I don't.

An AU in which there was no last meeting with Blake. Brian/Justin set sometime after 513, so spoilers. Ted PoV, some angst. Rated PG-13 for language. This was written for prompt .001 of au100, Beginnings. You can see my Big Damn Table of Brian/Justin AUs here.

Many thanks to my nel *smooch*. This was written for tamalinn. Hope you like it, hon, and that you feel better ASAP! *snugs*

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In an extremely bizarre turn of events, Ted knows that he owes Brian everything.

Sometimes he wonders how it happened, how the Brian Kinney he met years ago - hell, the Brian Kinney of three years ago - turned into some kind of ally. Even a friend.

A good friend.

The others supported him for the most part, but it was Brian who actually gave him the second chance, gave him the opportunity to prove who he could be, and now that Brian's lost his only chance Ted feels the pull of debts needing to be repaid.

So he starts e-mailing Justin.

Predictably, Justin is surprised to hear from him. To the best of Ted's knowledge they've never exchanged e-mails and, despite knowing each other for some five years, they've never really had a private conversation either.

Ted doesn't say outright that Brian's a mess without Justin - that's not his style. Brian is all blunt force and shock value; Ted prefers finesse. So he asks Justin about life in New York, how his art is progressing, if he's getting any interest in his work.

Then, in the middle of one message, he types,

I think Brian spends every evening at work now.

Justin latches onto it, going after news about Brian the way he went after Brian himself, and Ted's not all that surprised when Justin walks into Kinnetik two days later. Throwing Ted a wide grin, he doesn't hesitate at all as he steps into Brian's office.

It's been nearly five months since they've seen each other, and Ted is suddenly proven right in thinking that having glass doors on Brian's office was a bad idea. They don't hide a thing.

Justin stays for a week, and by the time he leaves he actually seems to have convinced Brian that they'll see each other again.

Ted keeps e-mailing him, because he's actually been enjoying it. He's a little ashamed to admit that, for the first couple of years, he just thought of Justin as the twink that Brian kept fucking. And although it's blatantly clear now that Justin's a man with his own mind, Ted had figured that if they hadn't really become friends by now, they never would.

He's rapidly being proven wrong.

Ted's no expert, but he does have some interest in art and it becomes fascinating to listen to Justin's discoveries of the art world in New York. It's obvious that Justin's intelligent and loving of his friends, but is also capable of being a complete drama queen. Somehow, even though they're hundreds of miles apart, Brian and Justin still manage to argue with each other and now Ted gets to hear it from both sides.

He figures it never got boring in the loft when the two of them were together.

During an e-mail about taxes Ted realises that Justin has a head for numbers that he never would have guessed at, and once a week he sends Justin 'Brian Updates'. Occasionally that results in Justin flying in for a visit, but mostly he soothes the Kinney beast over the phone.

Ted smiles to himself every time it happens.

********

One week Ted's being sent to New York on business, so he sends an e-mail. Justin's excited in his reply, suggesting things they can do and places they can go in the evenings, and Ted realises he hasn't had a friend like this since Emmett.

When he arrives at Justin's apartment, he's greeted with a hug - the first time that's happened - and then taken to the nearest gay bar. He's kind of glad Justin doesn't tell him about anyone he may have fucked, and they spend the night drinking and guessing which ones *Brian* would fuck.

The next morning when he should have been waking up in his comfortable hotel bed, he comes to on Justin's ratty old sofa. He thinks he's definitely, definitely getting too old for this, and is trying to get the sofa pattern out of his right face cheek when the toilet flushes.

Strolling out of the bathroom, Justin blinks blearily and runs a hand through his hair as he moves towards what passes as the kitchen, asking if Ted wants coffee.

He's wearing nothing but his Calvin Kleins.

Averting his gaze, Ted grabs his jacket and says he has a meeting to get to, bolting for the exit.

For the rest of the day, between meetings and ideas and discussions, he tells himself it's just because he's never seen Justin like that before. Justin's work as a dancer doesn't count because that was all a performance, an act, and Brian and Justin fucking was something he tried not to look at. This was...Justin being Justin. Being comfortable in his own skin.

By the time they meet up again that evening, Ted's feeling fine. Justin takes him to a club where they spend a few hours dancing together (they both know, although neither of them say it, that Ted won't get much of a look-in in a club like this by himself. Ted's okay with that, now). He looks at Justin as little as possible, but when he goes to the bar to get drinks he sees Justin dancing with someone else. The jealousy burns deep in his stomach and Ted has to acknowledge the truth - he's completely fucked.

He can't stay out late again - and frankly, he wants to get away as soon as possible - but even by the time he's ready to leave, Justin's completely wasted. Resigning himself to the fact that he'll have to make sure Justin gets home safely, he actually manages to flag down a cab.

Fifteen minutes later he's finally convinced Justin that he really does want to get into bed, and he lowers him down as carefully as he can. Tugging Justin's sneakers off, he lets them thump to the floor and pulls the covers over him.

Snuggling into the bed, Justin murmurs that he misses him, that he can't stop thinking about him and that he wants to come home soon.

It occurs to Ted that Justin is as much of a mess as Brian, and it hurts about as much as he thought it would.

After his meeting the next day he catches his scheduled flight home. Brian is impressed with his work and doesn't ask about Justin at all.

Ted ignores all e-mails that aren't work-related for the next few days, and on Friday he finally figures out what he has to say.

You need to come home, Justin. He's not happy and neither are you. Come home.

It seems that he can be like Brian, sometimes.

Just not quite enough.

~FINIS

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