Disclaimer - CowLip/Showtime own them. Mwoahahaha!

Yup, written for National MPreg Day so this is, fittingly, an mpreg. If that's not your thing, feel free to move on :)

Brian/Justin, silly humour, v short. Many thanks to my nel for looking it over. *kiss* This was written for prompt .028 of au100, Children. You can see my Big Damn Table of Brian/Justin AUs here.

This is dedicated to the lovely and delightful herohunter *hugs* Sorry that nothing Clexy came out ;)

*

When the bump started showing, Brian locked himself in the bathroom.

Justin took it all in his stride, leaving water and occasional plates of food outside the door. He knew Brian would get over it eventually, just like he had when he'd discovered that grey pubic hair.

Of course, Brian couldn't just dye the baby out of existence.

As predicted, after a day or two of queening out - and only receiving his meals by cracking open the door and pulling the plate through - Brian emerged from the bathroom as if he'd never been away.

"You know what's appalling?" he asked Justin, who was reading about pregnancy on the computer (but was constantly ready to flick over to porn in case Brian looked over his shoulder). Brian turned, studying himself in the mirror. "Besides the size of my ass."

"What is?"

"That Armani don't do a maternity line for men."

Rolling his eyes, Justin didn't even look away from the computer. "Absolutely. Homophobia, racism, war - nothing is as appalling as your current lack of high fashion."

"I'm serious," Brian finally turned away from the mirror. "They're missing out on a key demographic."

Shaking his head, Justin swivelled in the chair to face him. "Brian, you are the *only* man in medical history to ever get pregnant."

"And *thank you* for reminding me. Did I mention I'm never letting you top me again? Ever?"

Only about five thousand times. "Why would they need to design a maternity line for men? The 'key demographic' is one man."

"Who happens to be me," Brian pointed out smugly. "I'd buy their entire line. I should get Theodore to put out the feelers, see if they'd be interested in meeting..."

Sighing and shrugging, Justin swivelled back towards the computer. As long as Brian was thinking about maternity wear for men, at least he wasn't moping.

"Justin?"

Justin tipped his head to the right, squinting as he studied a diagram on the monitor. Gross. "Hmm?"

"Stop reading all that pregnancy bullshit - which'll be useless anyway, because none of those women have a dick - and come rub my feet." The leer was unmistakable.

At least Brian was getting some good euphemisms out of this.

Personally, Justin couldn't wait until he started lactating.

~FINIS

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