Disclaimer - Showtime/CowLip own them, I don't.

AU, spoilers through episode 122. Implied character death, angst. Brian/Justin, rated G. This was written for prompt .085 of au100, Missing. You can see my Big Damn Table of Brian/Justin AUs here.

It's a fic-type thing! *pokes it* Thanks to nel :) *smooch*

Feedback would be great.

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Most of the time, Brian's involved in a reality no one else can see. There are occasional moments of coherence, and Carol likes to think that most of them are while he's with her - not that she's someone who treats the patients or decides what's best for them. She just looks after them.

Despite her hopes, she acknowledges the truth. Brian's rare moments of coherency can happen at any time, in any place. There's no specific trigger, or at least not that anyone's discovered so far.

More often than not he shuffles around the building, keeping to himself. When someone tells him to do something he does it, but shows no other sign that he's heard them. He feeds himself, dresses himself, bathes himself, but he's simply going through the motions.

The only person he ever talks to directly is Justin, and Justin's never there.

One day Carol tries to find out what happened, why Brian is the way he is. Bradley likes her, and he has access to more information than she does.

"Come oooon," she grins, teasing, "it's not like I'd do anything with the information. I just want to know."

"No way, Carol," Bradley resists, shaking his head. "This happens every time we get a good-looking guy come in."

"It's not because he's good-looking," she objects, annoyed that Bradley thinks she'd be that unprofessional. "I'm just intrigued. He's so...lost. Not that that's a rarity around here," she admits wryly. Eyeing Bradley, she tries again. "Don't you want to know who Justin is?"

"I already do," he replies, "I know exactly what happened."

Eyes wide, she stares at him. "And you haven't *told* me?"

"It's really none of your business," Bradley says stiffly. "Besides, you seem more fascinated with *him* instead of what actually happened to him." Picking up a clipboard from behind the counter, he starts flicking through it.

Carol gets it, and starts grinning. "You're jealous."

Clearing his throat, Bradley flicks through a few more pages. "Now you're just being stupid."

She'll wear him down eventually.

Brian has quite a few visitors. A guy with short hair who often wears shirts with comic book characters on them, and a woman wearing what has to be a wig show up the most. Carol had assumed she was Brian's mom, but once - and only once, so far - another woman came to visit him. She sat with Brian for five minutes, didn't say anything, then left.

Sometimes a blonde woman comes to visit. She didn't for the first few months after Brian arrived, but she comes to see him at least once a week now. She always sits right next to him and starts talking about something Carol can never quite overhear. Lately she's taken to holding his hand when she visits, and always kisses him on the forehead when she leaves.

Occasionally there's someone else - a couple of guys (one of them flamingly gay), a younger blonde woman always dressed incredibly well, a teenage girl, two women with a baby. Carol thinks it might actually be Brian's son. She'd heard he had a son a while ago and there seems to be a similarity, but the women never stay for long.

Maybe it's too hard for them. It is for a lot of people.

Carol spends what time she can with Brian. He doesn't need much assistance, but Carol's always been fascinated by people. What makes them tick, makes them who they are. It's part of the reason she took this job. She gets to help *and* she gets to analyse.

There have only been a few times when Brian has actually looked at her as if she was there, has actually held her gaze. Once he said, "Hollywood's your dream, Sunshine," but withdrew before she could say anything in return.

One evening they're sitting at a table together - Brian staring at the wall, Carol staring at Brian - when he turns to her. Looks at her.

"It was the best night of your life, wasn't it?"

Licking her lips and going on instinct, Carol nods. "Yes it was, Brian. It was the happiest I've ever been."

He smiles. "Good." Then looks back at the wall.

Not long after that, Bradley and the others turn up to roust everyone into bed. Carol helps them, then volunteers to stay the night, the way she always does. She knows the patients prefer to have someone they know there all the time. It makes it easier for those of them who are aware enough to deal with things.

"Sure, Carol," Bradley agrees, just like every night, and gives her a quick kiss when no one is looking. "You go sleep and we'll come see you in the morning."

Snuggling into bed later in the room she shares with one of the patients, Carol sighs with satisfaction. She feels she's made great strides with Brian, and maybe it won't be too long until he starts coming back to reality.

Carol loves her job. It's what she lives for.

~FINIS

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