Disclaimer - MGM/Gekko/Double Secret own them.
Set in season six, but spoilers only for 'The Gamekeeper'. Rated PG-13 just in case.
Feedback would be appreciated.
*
"You must play a game!"
Jack paused walking behind the Highest Receiver (and *what* a *lame* name) for a moment, frowning. Quite frankly, any sentence that involved the words 'must', 'play' and 'game' was enough to cause some serious consternation. "Game?"
The Highest Receiver herself paused, and then turned to face Jack and the rest of his team. "Yes, a game. If we truly are to align with your people, we must be sure that you are worthy."
Oh great. The 'W' word. Sighing - and hoping the sarcasm was flying right over ol' Receiver's head - Jack glanced towards the woman he knew wouldn't miss it even if he were using the smallest of small sarcastic remarks. "What'd ya think, Carter? Are we 'worthy'?"
She looked back at him - quite without sarcasm or cynicism (though he knew better) - and smiled. "Guess there's only one way to find out."
Ah, Carter logic. It was hard not to love it. Even if he hated it at the same time. Turning back to face High Rec (he was getting tired of thinking 'Highest Receiver' - way too long), he was about to confirm that sure, they'd take part in their game, when he thought of something. "Uh, just to check...this game doesn't involve us being plugged in to alien devices, does it? Or finding our brains meshed into an artificial reality? Not re-living the worst moments of our lives over and over again?"
High Rec's brow, which until that moment looked as if it'd never had anything to worry about, suddenly creased into three frown lines. "No. Nothing like that at all."
Yes. "Great! Just checking."
The brow relaxed and Rec turned away, her long hair flicking behind her - and her ten or so 'attendants' flocking after it, as she resumed walking. "You will play with our balls!"
Ah. Well. *That* was okay then.
*
Rec really hadn't been joking.
There were balls. Lots of 'em.
One of Rec's numerous assistants - a way too happy guy called Threleop - had enthusiastically described the 'rules' to SG-1. Seemed pretty simple, really. There were different coloured and randomly placed balls being held vertically inside some kind of display area made out of metal. The idea was to get rid of the balls, but the only way to do that was to manoeuvre the same coloured balls next to each other - when two or more of the same colour were touching each other and were 'selected', they'd automatically disappear.
Carter, of course, was fascinated. Though apparently there were similar games on Earth, she'd only ever played them on a computer - she'd never been able to physically touch the balls. And the fact that the balls 'disappeared' at all? Heck, the game had 'latest Carter obsession' stamped all over it.
As for Jack, he didn't think it looked *too* difficult. Mostly it seemed to be about strategy. Obviously you had to plan ahead, deciding which balls to move where in order to access other balls in the long run.
"Can we all 'play'?" Jack asked. "Or does it have to be just one of us? And do we have to clear all the balls or will a majority do the job?"
"That is your decision," Threleop answered mysteriously.
Of course it was. "Well...how will we know if we've won?"
"You won't," He smiled.
Oy. "You're not related to someone called 'Oma', are you?"
*
Man, it was getting hot. Thankful for his cap, Jack nonetheless muttered quietly as he felt the latest bead of sweat rolling its way down his back. He'd already taken his pack and his jacket off, but the heat was relentless. He idly wondered if this was part of the test - an apparently benign game, deliberately set outside underneath a scorching sun.
On the upside, it did mean that Carter had shed her jacket too, and her shirt was sticking to her in some...interesting places.
"What do you think, kids?" Deciding that four heads were better than one (and yeah, that Carter and Jonas were way smarter than he was), all four of them had been 'playing' the game for the last thirty minutes. It was harder than it looked.
Though that might have had something to do with the...disagreements they were having.
"Red, I think," Carter said, gesturing towards the three balls in question, touching each other. "See?"
"But if we go for the green," Jonas argued. "We'll get rid of four."
"Yes Jonas Quinn," Teal'c agreed. "But if we select the red orbs, in a further six moves we will be able to dispatch five of the orange."
Looked like it was decision time again. He let the kids argue over it, hearing their differing opinions, but ultimately it was up to him. And him? Well, thankfully strategy was something he was good at. Add to that Teal'c's own experience and Carter's freaky mind...well, the choice was obvious. "Yeah, red it is. Go for it Carter."
Nodding (donotstareathesweatslidingdownherneckandimaginewhereit'sendingup), Carter reached forward, and touched one of the red balls. Instantly - and in a move that, according to Teal'c, was much like the transporters from Star Trek - all three of the red balls shimmered out of existence. The balls that had been resting on top of them now slid into their places, leaving a bigger gap at the top of the 'board'.
If there was one thing he was never, ever going to get sick of, it was the expression of absolute wonder that appeared on her face every time that happened.
They'd been doing this job for a while now - nearly six years - and, well...she wasn't quite as awe struck anymore. It made sense, he knew it did, but some days - when he was feeling particularly lousy and cynical - he missed it.
It was nice to see it again, however briefly.
Still, they had other things to focus on right now. Such as the balls before them.
Jonas, obviously feeling the heat as much as he was, grasped the front of his own shirt and tugged on it repeatedly, obviously trying to cool down. If the guy even *asked* to take his shirt off...
He really didn't need to see that right now.
Not that he didn't already know that he was probably the least physically fit person on his team, but he certainly didn't want to be reminded of it quite so obviously. And hey, he was in pretty good condition considering his age and all the crap his body had been through.
In an attempt to distract himself from the frankly worrying obsession over how good he did or didn't look with his shirt off, Jack cleared his throat, focusing on his team. "Okay, what do you say this time? Yellow?"
*
When the balls were gone and the board was clear, Threleop approached. "My most ardent congratulations!" He said. "You have proven yourselves to be intelligent, and worthy. Come, please follow me. The Highest Receiver wishes to bestow her happiness personally."
Jack wasn't about to complain. Highest had been watching the entire time from a twenty foot high tent-type thing that had been pitched up a few dozen feet away, occasionally calling out encouragement (or getting Threleop to do it for her). Quite frankly though he didn't really like the way she ruled her people, he just wanted to get under that tent. Into the shade.
Sssshhhhaaadddeee.
Mmm.
"We'd be honoured," Jonas replied, and all four members of SG-1 fell into step behind Threleop as he led the way.
Jack decided it was really quite disgusting just how much his shirt was sticking to him now, and echoing Jonas' earlier movement, he grabbed the front of it and tugged it back and forth several times.
"Sir?"
Carter. Oh, Carter was walking next to him. When did that happen? "Carter?"
"If you're hot, why don't you take your shirt off?"
His steps actually faltered. Had she really just said...? "Sorry?"
"I'm just being practical sir. It is extremely hot. Maybe when we get under cover we can ask the Highest Receiver if we can stay there for a while so you can take your shirt off and cool-"
Woah-oh-oh! "Ah thanks, Carter. But I'm just fine. Besides, if I stripped off then I'd feel bad and we'd all have to and...well, I'm not really sure how our new buddies would take that."
Besides, comparisons between him, Teal'c and Jonas with their shirts off? So *not* gonna happen. Not matter how appealing the idea of Carter taking her top off was...
Crap. He was doing it again.
Thankfully they'd now reached the edge of the tent, where Threleop stepped to one side, gesturing towards Highest.
"My friends," She smiled deeply, in the shade (Jack suddenly had a large and unreasonably hatred for the woman). "I must congratulate you on a most pleasing game - especially you, Colonel O'Neill."
"Huh?" *That* was something that *never* happened. When did people suddenly start paying him compliments?
"By listening to the opinions of your people, then making the final decision yourself, you have proven yourself to be an excellent leader."
Uh, wow. Was he actually blushing? For once, he actually had no idea what to say, especially as talking to aliens was usually done by Jonas - or, you know, he made Carter do it. Still, he managed as many as two words. "Thank you."
"You are most welcome." She nodded deeply, and Jack didn't really hate her anymore. Even if she *still* hadn't actually invited them under her tent... "And as symbol of our appreciation and to highlight what we hope will be a beneficial alliance for both of our worlds, I would like to present you with a gift."
A gift? Damn. He couldn't say no, but it was like a flood (flood. Water. Cooool) of paperwork. Damn red tape.
Threleop suddenly appeared in front of him, holding a metal box. While one hand held it steady, the other opened the box and Jack - getting ready to dive for cover, just in case - was surprised to see two of the balls. Specifically, two of the red ones.
"Wow. I don't know what to say." Again. Balls? "Thank you. For your gift. This'll look great on my bedside table." No wonder he left this stuff to Jonas.
Taking the now closed box from Threleop, he held onto it with both hands, and mustered his biggest smile for the Highest.
"You are extremely welcome, Colonel O'Neill. Now please, step out of the sun and share the drink of friendship with me. When we are done, your people may join us."
Finally! Turning back to face his 'people' - looking as hot and bothered as he was, with the possible exception of Teal'c - and realising he was going to need his hands free, he started handing the box over to Carter. "Hold onto my balls for me, will ya Carter?"
Ohhhhhhh.
He froze.
She froze.
One side of her mouth started to turn up into a grin.
He wasn't so fortunate. He was hot, sweaty, and had already been having some pretty damn inappropriate thoughts about her. So, making the best of a bad situation, he pulled the box away from her, lobbed it towards Jonas, then all but dived beneath the tent.
No doubt about it. Fate was having far too much fun at his expense.
~FINIS