Disclaimer – MGM/Gekko/Double Secret own them.
A young Sam fic! Kind of. Knowledge of 'The Devil You Know' would help.
*hugs nel*
For Jennifer.
*
No one's really talked to her since her mom died. Katie says we should just leave her alone, but I don't know. I don't think any of us know how to act around her now.
We've all been lucky.
I wanna be how I always was, but every time I see her now I don't think "There's Sam", I think "Oh God her mom just died."
It's weird.
I know I should stop defining her by who she's lost, but it's not easy.
Katie, of course, has made her choice. Since Sam's mom died she's seen her only twice – once to say how sorry she was, once at the funeral. She says she thinks it'll be easier on Sam this way. I think it'll be easier on Katie.
She always had bad hair anyway.
It's a beautiful, beautiful day. So bright. It's the kind of day when I want to tip my head back and just keep staring up (though mom says that's bad for my eyes. She's such a spoilsport sometimes). Days like this always remind me of spending summer at Uncle Jason's house, finding that frog hiding under the rock (I was five. It seemed pretty cool at the time).
I don't think Sam's noticed. Sitting on the edge of the sidewalk with her feet stretching out onto the road, almost as if she's just waiting for someone to run over at least some part of her. It seems likely that her dad told (ordered) her to get out of the house again. To 'get some sun'.
I get his point. I know, I'm supposed to rebel against parents or parental figures – it's an unwritten rule or something.
But since it happened, she's been freaking me out. She was always good at school, kind of enjoying it and getting in the top grades. But since her mom died, she's always *the* top grade. In everything.
And I don't think she's enjoying it anymore.
She's my friend. So I have to do *something*.
As I sit down next to her (wow, the sidewalk is hot on my legs – knew shorts were a bad idea) I can't help but stare at her hair. I'm still used to it going past her shoulders, but the day after the funeral she cut it short. Really short. I'm not sure if it suits her or not.
"Sam?"
She doesn't look at me. "Yeah?"
At least she's not ignoring people. "I've been wanting to ask..." This is really difficult. How do I...? "...about...how do you want me to act about your mom? I mean, do you want me to talk about her? Do you want me act like she never existed?" I press my lips together quickly, suddenly worried I said too much.
Slowly, she turns her head towards me and holds my gaze. I can't remember the last time she did that.
"You can talk about her," she whispers, as if it's hard to speak, "just...just be yourself, Julie. You're not my best friend just because you know the entire periodic table you know."
"You're the one who taught me," I say, relieved that she's attempting some kind of joke. She really does have what her dad calls 'a wicked sense of humour' when she's in the right mood.
Not replying, she sighs heavily before looking up at the sky. Eventually, she speaks. "So what's up with Katie lately?"
It's the first time she's asked me a question since it happened. I *do* know just how to handle this part:
"Oh, it's so icky, isn't it? You'd think she'd at least learn to wash."
She smiles as she glances towards me, and suddenly I think – yeah.
Her hair looks really good.
~FINIS