Disclaimer - MGM/Gekko/Double Secret own them.
Gee, it's another Jack/Jonas fic...set after 'Prophecy', though I don't really consider it an episode addition. Rated R for sexual situations...
Many, many thanks to Michelle, nanda, and Babe for pulling this to pieces {SMOOCH}. Feedback would be loved. Flames will be ejected into hyperspace.
*
"Are you sure you want to do this, sir?"
It was the fifth time she'd asked him that. Sighing, Jack shifted his bag until it was hooked over his shoulder. "Haven't I answered that question already?"
"Well...technically, yes. But I really don't think anyone thought you were being serious when you suggested it."
Jack shrugged. "Just because I rarely sound serious doesn't mean I *never* am..." They were slowly meandering out of the base, side by side. Whenever he was going someplace without her, she'd gotten into the habit of walking him to the elevator.
"True, but..." Finally she stopped walking, turned towards him, and just said it. "Jonas, sir? I know the two of you get on better now, but are you sure you've going to be able to get along together for four days?"
Waving her off, he kept walking. "Hell, some of our missions last longer than that."
"But it's never just the two of you for all that time," Carter argued as she jogged to catch up. "Alone."
"We'll be *fine*, Carter." He appreciated it, but she did worry too much sometimes. "I promise I won't try to throttle him at least until we get back, okay? And now he can stop complaining that he never gets to go anywhere off base that isn't related to work. You know this'll be his first commercial flight?"
"He may have mentioned it. Several times."
Sounded like Jonas. "You can imagine how much fun that's gonna be. But I promise you Carter," This time he paused, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It'll be fine. Fraiser's given him clearance, he's fully recovered, and I've already signed something for Hammond swearing that he won't come to any harm." When she grinned, he knew she was satisfied.
They continued walking, and when they reached the elevator Jonas was already there - as arranged.
"Ready?" Jack asked, swiping his card through the reader.
"Looking forward to it." Jonas agreed.
"Good."
The doors slid open, and as the two of them stepped inside Carter spoke. "Have fun!"
Jack nodded. Jonas saluted.
*
Something freaky was going on. The plane had taken off thirty minutes ago, and Jonas had yet to say a word. Oh, so he'd mentioned something about how impressive the aerodynamics of the plane was, but that was it.
He wasn't all but bouncing up and down in his seat, pointing at clouds outside the window.
He wasn't grinning as if he had a second set of teeth, oooing over the tray on the back of the seat in front of his.
No, he was calmly looking out of the window, with barely a smile.
So Jack was frowning.
*
If anything, Las Vegas itself should have caused even more of a reaction. Jack deliberately drove their rental car through the loudest, brightest, *kitschiest* street he could find - nada.
Even the Luxor, with its enormous pyramid, didn't draw more than a vague smile out of the guy.
So after they checked in to their own hotel (much cheaper; and yeah, so they had to share a room, but at least they had separate beds), Jack spoke up as soon as their room door slammed shut and they were alone.
"Jonas, what the hell is going on?"
Having already placed his travel bag on the bed nearest the window, Jonas frowned as he turned back to face him. "What do you mean, Colonel?"
"I *mean*," Jack chucked his own bag onto the other bed, and walked towards him. "You've just been on your first commercial flight, you've just come into Las Vegas for the first time, you've seen enough fancy light work to make your eyes explode, and you're just standing there like..." He gestured towards him. "Well, like how *I'd* look if *I* were reading some report on naquadriah results."
Grinning, Jonas shrugged. "I'm sorry, Colonel. I really do appreciate you bringing me out here and it's definitely fascinating to see how different it is, but...I've been doing this job for nine months, now. I've seen a lot of things - things I couldn't have even imagined before now. I guess I'm just used to amazing things."
Wow. He was actually disappointed. He never would have imagined that *Jonas* of all people would have adjusted to that aspect of the job so quickly. Sure, so he was a fast learner and could pick anything up in the time it took Jack to tie his boot laces, but ever since his arrival on Earth he'd been astounded by just about everything.
God help him, Jack realised he'd actually been looking *forward* to Jonas' reaction. He'd wanted to see him get over-excited, talk too fast, his eyes widening as he ran towards yet another something he'd never seen before.
In his cynical, sarcastic little world, it was reassuring that there were still some hopeless optimists out there.
Even if one of them did happen to be Jonas.
"Oh," Jack eventually replied, still somewhat shocked. He just couldn't *believe*... "Really? Because I could have sworn..."
Jonas frowned. "Didn't that used to...irritate you, anyway?"
"Oh," Jack said, playing it up. "Sure. There's only so much cheeriness a guy can take, but I'd kinda braced myself for the fact that there'd be some this time around."
"So you're...disappointed?"
Woah, back up Sparky. "I didn't say *that*." Nothing like that was *ever* said aloud. "I guess I'm just surprised."
"Well," Jonas hesitated, before moving to unzip his bag and delving inside for something. "If you really don't mind..." His hand reappeared, with the digital camera firmly attached. He grinned. "Let's go!"
Ah! Hopeless optimist. Knew it.
*
From then on, Jonas did a majority of the talking. They walked, mostly, taking in the sights and sounds, and this time Jonas pointed at everything from the Luxor to the woman with exceedingly pink hair and very little clothing.
Huh. Jack couldn't *wait* to take him to one the shows.
But, not long after darkness fell Jack ordered them back to the hotel. They'd left Colorado Springs pretty late in the day, and he seriously needed to get some sleep.
Man, he was getting old.
He flopped down on the bed, his face smooshing into the covers. "Anything specific you wanna do tomorrow?" He managed to murmur.
"No," Jonas replied, moving around the room, picking up one thing after another. "Uh, Colonel?"
Mmm, niiiiice bed. "Yeah?"
"What's 'Red Hot Number Five'?"
Jack's left eyelid cracked open, the edge of the covers out of focus. "What are you looking at, Jonas?"
"It's a list of 'pay-per-view movies'."
Chuckling, Jack planted a hand onto the bed and pushed himself over until he was lying on his back. "It's a porn movie, Jonas."
Standing by the television and holding the list in question, Jonas was obviously confused as he glanced at him. "Porn movie?"
Wow, had he really never...? "Uh, yeah. It's basically a sex movie. Someone films two - or more - people having sex." Judging by how big Jonas' eyes were getting, it definitely wasn't something he was familiar with. "They really don't have anything like that on Kelowna?"
"No," Jonas rapidly shook his head. "Or not that I was aware of, anyway."
Huh. "Well you can watch one if you want," Jack replied, turning back onto his front and closing his eyes. "But you're paying."
*
It was Jack's bladder that eventually woke him up, reminding him - quite ruthlessly, Jack thought - that he'd over-indulged on all liquid substances. Yawning, he opened his eyes and realised there was still a light source coming from somewhere.
Rubbing at the pillow creases on his face, Jack slowly sat up and glanced about the room. Jonas, by all accounts, hadn't watched any movie (no way would Jack had slept through *that*), and had instead partaken of a shower, if the towel hanging over the back of the single chair was any indication.
Muttering, Jack finally tugged his boots off, and still otherwise fully dressed padded into the bathroom. After taking care of business and washing his hands, he emerged back into the room and headed straight for the lamp next to Jonas' bed - the source of the light - intending to turn it off.
But as he reached for it, he made the mistake of looking down at Jonas.
And paused.
Evidently he'd kicked off the covers (Jack had to agree - it was pretty damn warm), and he was sleeping in a white t-shirt and equally white boxer shorts.
It was also evident that he was having one hell of an entertaining dream.
Jack bit back a grin. Oh, what to do, what to do? The best course of action was probably to ignore it and pretend he'd never seen anything. However, the most entertaining course of action was to remind Jonas of this at every opportunity.
His life would be nothing, if not for the teasing.
So yeah, his Inner Evilness got the upper hand.
Lowering his hand from where it was still reaching towards the lamp, he hovered by the edge of the bed. Tomorrow he was going to *have* to say something - anything - about it. Tease the guy. Probably with references to pay-per-view and the pink-haired woman from earlier, too. But right now...right now he just kept...staring at it. He'd never seen another guy before; at least not up close (or like *this*), and he was just kind of intrigued.
It would be wrong, of course, oh so wrong to pull the edge of the boxer shorts down and take a peek; it'd hardly be fair to Jonas.
So, Jack tore his eyes away and looked at Jonas' face.
Only to discover Jonas' own eyes were wide open. And staring at him.
He should have said something. Mumbled an apology; cracked a joke; reminded him that hey, he was a guy too.
Instead he held his gaze, and Jack's hand - almost of its own volition - moved towards Jonas' groin.
Jonas blinked as Jack's hand brushed over the material, but he didn't look away.
Still staring at him, Jack lowered the edge of the boxer shorts and pulled his target free.
Gasping at the contact, Jonas' head tipped back against the bed.
Jack's hand moved gently, slowly at first, knowing what worked for him; but this was entirely new territory. He soon found, however, that Jonas was pretty responsive and it was obvious what he did and didn't like.
And it had to be said (not out loud, of course); watching Jonas' face as his eyes fluttered shut, his breath grew more ragged, and his hips began to surge towards his hand...well, it was pretty damn arousing, and Jack found it much easier to sit on the edge of the bed.
Jonas' left hand flew out, grabbing on to Jack's thigh and soon after *that* happened; his breath caught, and his hips jerked up off the bed.
After he collapsed back down, Jack stood up - awkwardly, it had to be said - and grabbed the towel from the chair. Cleaning up what he could, he then went and washed.
"That was new," Jonas' voice called from the bedroom.
Jack grinned at his own reflection in the mirror over the washbasin. "Yes it was." Drying his hands on a fresh towel, he turned toward the doorway.
Jonas was already standing there.
"Hey," Jack greeted, surprised.
Jonas walked inside. Jack took an - instinctive - step back. Jonas kept walking inside, until the back of Jack's legs hit something which felt suspiciously like the john. The Kelownan's hands immediately reached for the zipper on his jeans.
Jack's hand covered his. "Jonas, you don't have to-"
"Do you want me to stop?"
His groin all but leapt at the tone in his voice. "I didn't say *that*," He hedged. "But I don't expect you to-"
The zip lowered, and so did Jonas. "Then shut up, Colonel."
Well, if he *insisted*...
*
"So how'd you get on?"
Jack stood in Carter's lab, next to her desk, deciding that grinning wouldn't be *too* obvious. "Pretty well. I tell ya, that boy's energetic though. Nearly couldn't keep up with him."
Carter nodded in apparent understanding, her head stuck somewhere inside a metal *something* on her desk. "Wanted to see all the sights and sounds, did he?"
Oh this was *too* good. "You could say that. But we really didn't get to see that much. You know what it's like when you go away; you find one place you like and tend to stick to it."
She shrugged. "Well, you know Jonas. He's happy just as long as it's something new." Finishing with whatever it was she'd been fiddling with, she stood up and grinned at him. "I'm glad it went so well, sir. Who knows? Maybe this could be the start of a beautiful friendship."
Jack rolled his eyes, as he turned away. "You've seen Casablanca one too many times, Carter."
He rolled his eyes, because he had to.
He turned away, because he had to.
He spoke sarcastically, because he had to.
But as soon as he got back to his office, he was booking another trip to Vegas.
~FINIS