*

This, more than anything else, helped Lex realise just how far from home he was.

Not that home actually existed anywhere except for in someone's imagination.

"What do you think?"

Lex didn't move, leaning against the railing as he stared out at the endless ocean. "It's amazing." And it was. There was hardly anything he'd say - or even think - that about.

"I don't think it'll ever stop being that," Ford admitted. "We've been here for a while now, but every now and then I come out and just stand here. Trying to let it all sink in." He huffed out a breath. "It never does."

Without a doubt, Lex knew he would have done the same. Standing there surrounded by so much water helped make it *real*. "It's peaceful."

"Not always." The vague humour in his voice finally made Lex look at him, and Ford continued. "We had a bad storm a few months back. Like, *really* bad. We weren't even sure the city was going to make it."

Surprised, Lex shifted, turning towards Ford and leaning his left side on the railing. "What happened?"

Grinning again, Ford shrugged. "McKay," he said, as if that explained everything. "Sometimes I just wanna throw him into the water, but he's pretty much a genius." Pausing, his grin left as he glanced at Lex. "Don't tell him I said that. He already thinks he's God's gift to geeks."

"Duly noted," Lex retorted, pursing his lips together in mild amusement. From the little he'd seen, Ford's description of McKay seemed more than apt.

Studying the water again, Lex pondered. Ford had given a further rundown of what life was like on Atlantis (or at least he had after Lex's talk on The Wonders of Lana Lang. Lex actually quite liked Lana, but as often as Clark went on about her...well, every man had his limits).

Apparently the planet they were on wasn't entirely covered in water. There was a single land mass - quite large - that among other things was used for growing crops that helped keep the city stocked with fresh food. It was taken care of by 'Teyla's people'. Lex had yet to meet this Teyla, but according to Ford she had 'kick ass' fighting skills and was a respected figure among her people, even something of a leader.

The thought randomly popped into his mind, then, as it had done ever since he'd discovered the truth of where he came from.

He wasn't real.

These people fought and grew food and developed bizarre theories about DVDs, but they were *there* and they were together.

Lex had never felt more isolated.

"You okay?" Ford asked, surprising him. "You're looking a little..."

"...like I'm thinking about jumping over the railing?" Lex finished for him, managing to twitch his lips slightly.

"Yeah."

Exhaling heavily, Lex slumped forward. He was actually considering talking about how he was feeling to this kid. This kid who was probably older than him. And he knew why, of course, even if he wasn't particularly comfortable with the realisation.

Ford reminded him of Clark.

The same chirpy optimism, the innocence; the huge god-damn grin he wore half the time.

It was nice having someone almost familiar there.

"It just keeps occurring to me," Lex began carefully, "that I'm not real. That everything I've ever said or done, every action I've ever taken, every decision I've ever made...it wasn't me. Everything I've ever done has been planned, written, scripted for me. I have absolutely no free will; I never have and...it's a little disconcerting."

There. That was something that everyone with a psychology degree could spend years mulling over.

But apparently not Ford.

"Well, what about now?"

Lex blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"What about now?" Ford continued. "No one's scripting you now, right? No one's writing stuff for you to say or do, but you seem to be handling yourself pretty well. So...okay, technically you didn't exist before and yeah, that's gotta suck, but...you're here now. And you can make your own decisions now. Why not make the best of it?"

God, he really *was* like Clark. "You're very much the glass is half-full type, aren't you?"

Ford smiled. "How'd you guess?"

They lapsed into a comfortable silence then, and Lex returned to gazing out at the water, pleased to realise that he did feel a little better, at least for now.

It wasn't long at all, however, until Ford's voice broke into his contemplation. "So...how does it work? What's it like?" Lex frowned, so Ford went on. "Well, I mean...do you have memories of your childhood or anything? I don't think we really saw much of that on the show."

That was a good point, actually. "I remember..." Pain flashed inside him, briefly. "I remember my mother dying, but..." God, that was horrible. "I have no idea what she looked like." That *was* horrible. "I suppose...if I really was somehow created from the DVDs, the only information that would be available about me is what's in the show. If they never showed my childhood - or much of it - that would explain why my memories are..." Not real? Made up? Imaginary? "...limited."

Obviously uncomfortable, Ford shifted about. "What's the last thing you remember? Before you appeared here."

Glad to get away from what he did or didn't know about his fictional childhood, Lex concentrated on the question. "I was in my office, talking to Clark. There was..." He frowned, before remembering. "Class President. There was an election for Class President at his school and Clark had decided to run. I was telling him about my own history with school politics."

"Hey, I remember that!" Ford enthused, suddenly cheering up. "Kind of, anyway. I think it was one of the earlier episodes, or at least somewhere in the first year."

First year. First. "How many years has it been running?" Lex couldn't remember even having been in Smallville for a year, yet.

"I think..." Ford frowned, obviously trying to remember. "Three or four, maybe? By the time we left I think there'd definitely been three, although I'm not exactly an expert. Dr Lang would probably know, I guess."

That made sense, but to be honest Lex didn't feel much like talking to her. She'd probably just pass out again. "I suppose."

"Hey," Ford stood up straight, pushing away from the railing, "you know what'd be a great idea?"

"What?"

"If we watch the episodes! Seriously, think about it," Ford said. "It might give us some idea why this is happening, and it could even help you in some way. Give you a different perspective on the things you've gone through. I know you get frustrated with Clark sometimes, which is completely understandable given that he lies to you all the time, but-"

Lex knew immediately where this was headed. "I'm not him." He met Ford's gaze and held it. "I'm not *really* Lex Luthor. He doesn't exist. I'm not going to become evil and fight Superman and do everything in my power to hurt him." He paused. He couldn't imagine ever hurting Clark. "I have free will now, remember?"

Ford licked his lips almost nervously. "McKay told you about being evil, huh?"

"Yes," Lex agreed simply, "he did."

*