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Bryan
06 October 2007 @ 07:25 pm
Above Ground  
“You ride up my thighs
You’re tight on my ass
You climb up my crotch
You ruin my day
And fill my soul, you fill my soul
With hate!
It can’t be right
When they feel so tight
’Cause you – you ride up my thighs!”


This is just one example why SFU is light years ahead of any other TV series ever made. If there’s anyone on my flist who still haven’t seen it, you MUST do it now. Seriously. If you have the means at all, please watch this show. Rent it, buy it, steal it, I don’t care, so long as you watch it. There’s no excuse not to... Would it help if I bribed you? I don’t care if you don’t like to look at the dead people. It won’t matter, I promise. Just watch the pilot. If you hate it, fair enough.
 
 
Music: Lamb - Heaven
 
 
Bryan
06 October 2007 @ 12:19 am
Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer  
Quizzes temporarily relieve boredom....

Dominance pushes you into erotic territory – You scored as The Top!

The Top likes to call the shots – sexually, at least. In real life, they may not show any signs of wanting or needing to be in control, but to achieve erotic fulfillment, The Top needs not only to give orders but also to see them carried out. Their sexual pleasure is of the psychosexual variety, which means that they intellectualize sex more than most of the other erotic types. They are often partial to leather and the accoutrements of bondage, and they frequently reward those people they can bend to their will. They may even like to deliver a bit of physical pain, but only if they know the recipient will enjoy that pain.

What is your Erotic Personality? Find out now.

* * *

Gacked this one from [info]crossbow1 : The Online Dating Persona Test

The Billy Goat
Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer (DBSD)

Horny. Stubborn. Kinda cute. Slightly immature. And often found on rough terrain. You are The Billy Goat.

You're lusty, but typically monogamous, and all in all you're a pretty good boyfriend. In fact, you enjoy relationships, if mostly for the sex and physical companionship. You'd do or say almost anything to get together with someone, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

You're sensitive, you have a certain boyish charm, and you're eager. Therefore you probably attract guys who are serious about romance. But few who get close to you realize how unready for total commitment you are. People fall for you. Meanwhile, you maintain your emotional distance, and there goes another box of tissues.

You're perfectly capable of a long-haul relationship, but, right now, dating someone primarily means having a consistent, available, preferably not-too-chatty, hookup. You're a careful, methodical person, and you work hard at making things work. It's just that the type of man most likely to find your strengths endearing is also the most likely type to find your shortcomings heartbreaking. Someone with a similarly laid-back approach to dating would be perfect for you.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Billy Goat (DBSD), The Slow Dancer (DGLD), The Manchild (RBLD)

CONSIDER: The Playboy (RGSM)
 
 
Mood: amused
Music: Lamb - Gabriel
 
 
Bryan
05 October 2007 @ 02:07 am
Torchwood Spark  
Just finished with the last episode of Torchwood and now I am reduced to a pile of quivering pleading jello. This show has gotten under my skin.

Jack is definitely different than what I knew of him from Doctor Who. Here he's not just some flirty jester; he shows serious, complex and dark side of himself, and can go from icy cruel to truly caring and compassionate man. John Barrowman did an amazing job with this marvelous character. It was such a pleasure getting to know him better.

Ianto is a sweetie, but dammit, why don't they let him do something more interesting than making coffee? (Love his name, btw.) Tosh is really nice, and after that affair with a hot alien chick I liked her even better. Owen is the only one that I don’t particularly care about; his sense of humor irritates me, his attitude annoys me, and his mouth creep me out. But he goes well with the rest of the team, so I can tolerate him. And Gwen... she's so hilarious that I don't even know where to start. She brings smile to my face as soon as she appears on the screen. I adore Gwen.

I was disappointed when Suzie died at the end of the first episode because I liked her character too, and Indira Varma is always amazing; shame that they didn't kept her longer in the series. (She ends up being killed in every show that she appears, for crissake.) And they even played Gorecki by Lamb in that episode when she returned from the dead, which was a personal squee moment for me ('cos I worship that song... even though it always murders me).

A few episodes were a bit boring; I barely held my eyes open during Random Shoes, it was so dull. But most of them were truly enjoyable. Captain Jack Harkness is perhaps my favourite--it was so beautiful and sad that it almost drove me to tears... And the finale, oh boy, that's what I call intense. So much action and emotion, and when everything seemed lost, a happy ending--and a Jack/Ianto kiss! I felt my body melting at that reunion scene. (The homage to Brokeback Mountain didn't pass unnoticed either.)

And now it's over. Done. No more until the second season begins. Prison Break is my next stop, but I think I'll rewatch a few of the best Torchwood eps first. I can’t let go of them just yet. Oh, and if some kind soul from my flist could point me in the direction of some good TW slash (I'd prefer Jack/Ianto, but I'm open to all combinations), I would be very grateful. :)
Tags:
 
 
Mood: mellow
Music: Lamb - Gorecki
 
 
Bryan
03 October 2007 @ 01:00 am
Patterns  
Patterns. In the couch arms that curved like ram horns. In the wall tiles' black painted lines that tried sluggishly to form squares. In the folds of Caesar's robe as it fell to the floor. In the angle of Ares' body as he stood behind Caesar. In the goddamn way they both ignored him.

Again.

Like he was a slave or a statue. Not a king. Better than the last two nights, when he was an irritation, a puppy nosing around them. Maybe if they'd wash after sex, instead of showing up reeking of come. Weren't Romans supposed to be obsessed with hygiene? Maybe Caesar bathed in Ares' semen. He sure acted like it, the pompous asshole. Didn't even touch the food, either, like it was beneath his imperial self to eat anything Greek. Correction. Anything other than the big hot cock he stroked through the tight leather, like Ares' dick was his pet. Which it was.

Why even show up at all? They didn't eat. They didn't talk to anyone but each other. To flaunt, that's why. So everyone knew that Ares endorsed Caesar and his plans for world conquest, that Caesar got banged nightly by a god. Someone should tell this Roman pretty-boy what his he-man conqueror pose revealed. Well-adjusted people did not jones for world domination. Only Caesar would never admit it. It was all "destiny this, Fate-decreed that." Ares was the same. Not about the destiny, but about his whole fucking 'bow down and kiss me my blood-stained boots' attitude. No big secret that Zeus preferred a fistful of maggots to his badass son, enough to pop Athena from his head as a replacement.

Which would all be a lot more convincing if Iphicles didn't get hard breathing their air.
 
 
Bryan
01 October 2007 @ 04:10 am
Happy Birthday, Hege!  
Happy birthday [info]hege!
Hope you'll have a wonderful day.
 
 
Bryan
30 September 2007 @ 03:52 am
Seven Interests Revealed  
Comment on this post. I will choose seven interests from your profile and you will explain what they mean and why you are interested in them. Post this along with your answers in your own journal so that others can play along.

[info]elouisa chose these seven interests of mine:

asoiaf, bel canto, bene gesserit teachings, capercaillie, clark ashton smith, gene wolfe, romola garai )
Tags:
 
 
Mood: accomplished
Music: Claire Voyant - Heaven Knows
 
 
Bryan
25 September 2007 @ 02:50 am
Visionary Landscapes  
So my allergies have completely fucked me over and now I am a total mess surviving on saline drops and some medication. I can not go on like this.

I've decided not to return to college to complete my Ph.D. because I was going through my university books and notes from the classes, and realized how much of what I've learnt I have forgotten by now. I also think I may have lost my diploma, because I went through all my documents and couldn't find it anywhere. So I guess this is bye bye to my advanced degree.

Instead I could work to perfect my Spanish, or take lessons in some new language I've been wanting to learn--French, German, Italian, or Norwegian. It could prove fun, and it'll certainly be useful at some point in the future.

I shouldn't forget my physical health either. I'm too lazy for a gym, but I could go running, or exercise at home more regularly and get myself into better shape. I'm working on 50 pushups, but right now my triceps are screaming bloody murder. I think that's quite pathetic. But I'll keep trying.

Also, there are some great upcoming concerts that I'm really looking forward to--David Sylvian will perform on October 15, and there are rumours about Diary of Dreams (OMG DOD!) coming in November, which is enough to send my body into orgasmic overload. This autumn definitely seems promising.

Sorry folks, nothing more interesting for this entry; but here's a pretty pic to divert your attention:

Tags:
 
 
Mood: bouncy
Music: Japan - Life In Tokyo
 
 
Bryan
24 September 2007 @ 03:21 am
Timeless Lord  
I’ve finally finished with the third season of Doctor Who, and dammit, I miss Rose. Martha is okay, but her crush on the Doctor really annoys me--why must everyone who travels with him fall in love with him? And what is worse, her entire character is based on these unrequited feelings. We never see her as a real, complex person, just this silly girl infatuated with the Doctor for no apparent reason.

If this “love” appeared later in the series, I’d say it’s because of the circumstances--it’s normal to be attracted to the person with whom you share near-death experience on a regular basis--but she felt this way right from the moment she first saw him, and I just don’t buy that.

With Rose this same thing was developed gradually, over the course of two entire seasons, and the result was more realistic and believable (not to mention that the Doctor seemed to respond to her feelings). After that I really don’t want this storyline repeated all over again, so Martha, please, get over him! (Maybe a hot shag with Dr Milligan will help clear her head. :D)

As for the season finale, I have mixed feelings. First of all--they went a trillion years in the future and what did they found? Humans who look exactly like present humans, who think, speak and act the same as we do. So. Wrong. And I know the show has this naive vibe in general, but so far it was always in the nice way. This thing, however, was just preposterous. It’s lazy writing. Human race would most probably be extinct long before that, or it would evolve into something so different from our present form that it’d be virtually unrecognizable to us. (This is anthropologist in me talking, so forgive me if I take it a bit too seriously.)

Luckily I found the concept of the Toclofane somewhat redeeming. The Doctor turning into Gollum’s older brother was funny to watch, but his restoration was too deus ex machina if you ask me. I was hoping for a more logical (not to say scientific-grounded) resolution than this miraculous regeneration. The climax was not as dramatic as it could have been, but then there was the Face of Bo revelation--which was totally unexpected and cool and hilarious, so I turned a blind eye to all the faults and ended up satisfied.

Oh, and that Blink episode? Possibly my favorite Doctor Who episode ever! Sally Sparrow was a cutie, and the whole idea with the weeping angels was awesomest thing on the entire show. It was clever, it was scary, it was moving and mind-blowing; it just had it all. I wish Sally could be the Doctor’s new companion. And I’m really interested to see Kylie Minogue’s and David Bowie’s contributions to the series.

Now I’m passing onto Torchwood; but I kinda miss more realistic shows, so perhaps after that I should finally start with Prison Break... or finish with Deadwood’s third season. I’m hearing wonderful things about this new series called Friday Night Lights, so I’m a bit intrigued, and then there are Heroes and Supernatural who are still waiting and begging for my attention... At least Hollyoaks saga is over, though I still have to download most of the JP/Craig eps.

I’m also thinking about rewatching Six Feet Under. The autumn feels like the perfect time for that, and I’ve been missing the Fishers & co. for far too long. Ah, so many things to see, and so little time....
 
 
Mood: content
Music: The Frozen Autumn - There's No Time To Recall
 
 
Bryan
22 September 2007 @ 01:24 am
Semantic Spaces  
I’m fascinated how sometimes the same words can have different meaning for different people.

When I’m observing a discussion I often find myself in the role of translator, explaining what one person said to the other even though they speak the same language, because what they said didn’t clearly express what they meant. And I see so many conflicts and arguments arising simply because people don’t really hear what the other side is trying to say.

Speech can be so imprecise sometimes... yet I always seem to understand the message it conveys. Even what’s been left unsaid. Is it because I listen to what people say as much as I listen how they say it? Or is it that I pay attention to minutiae of the body language, the tone of voice, inflection and emphasizing, facial expression?

Speech can also be a powerful weapon for those skillful enough to wield it. Careful use of language can twist truth into lie, simple fact into ambiguous riddle... But I believe that if you really listen, you can hear the hidden meaning. The true meaning behind the words.
 
 
Mood: awake
Music: This Ascension - I Wish
 
 
Bryan
18 September 2007 @ 03:43 pm
Scherzando  
From Dido to Aeneas:
"Like devout incense thrown on smoking altars, like wax torches tipped with sulphur, I am burning with love: all day long and all night, I desire nothing but Aeneas."

Today, I held my cat down and squirted ointment in her eye. She's walking around the house with one eye shut like a pirate. I'd get a parrot for her shoulder if I didn't think she'd eat it.

Writing classical slash must be a masturbatory act because I sure don't do it for the feedback. If the mythical heroes were around, they'd invent the guillotine to punish those who don't appreciate their legendary magnificence.

How can a native English speaker not know what a complete sentence is?

"Than" is comparative. I like this better than that. That chair is older than this one. He's hotter than Georgia asphalt.

"Then" indicates a relation in time. I liked this then, but not now. Back then, the Romans knew how to throw a funeral. Lex sucked Clark's cock, then went home (he did one thing, then afterward, did another).

Fanitation. There's a giant vacuum that sucks back appropriate punctuation from one story and spews it into the next, so one's torrid, the other torpid. It's not just a matter of commatic exactitude--it's rhythm. Don't people know about scansion, climax, emphasis? Maybe I should write a companion piece to my grammar guide--Bry's Sexed-up Guide to Poetic Devices:

Ares bends you over his throne and whispers, "Assonance. You know how long I've thought about it?"

I'm not asking for alliterative kennings, just a sense of syntactic purpose, of language qua language. Word autopsies, with Victor-ian reassembly, piece by carefully chosen piece. Let's face it: Frankenstein might've been ugly, but those English villagers remembered the son of a bitch. Who the fuck remembers Clermont?

Question: What do you call someone who sends longer thanks for feedback than feedback itself?

Answer: ----. (Ed. Note: Due to the graphic and profane nature of this punchline, we had to delete it so as to not offend our more sensitive viewers.)

If I were a pharaoh in ancient Egypt, I'd order a bunch of slave-babes to do the naked nasty while I watch.

Damn. I've talked myself back up to normal. The bloody sun is even shining. How am I supposed to act like the emperor of doom and gloom when I'm feeling so perky now?
 
 
Mood: geeky
Music: Henry Purcell - The Married Beau
 
 
Bryan
13 September 2007 @ 11:16 pm
Dream Job  
Stolen from [info]dare2bee

If you're interested to check have you chosen the right career, go to this website, enter nycareers as the username and landmark as the password, then click on the career matchmaker, answer the questions, and post the first ten suggested choices...

This came out for me:

1. Translator (Weirdly enough, that actually is my current job!)
2. Artist (This is a bit vague for it can mean many things...)
3. Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator (I did that in highschool! For fun only, though.)
4. Actor (I did a bit of amateur acting a few years ago, but I don't think I really have what it takes for the job - I'm not a creature for the spotlight.)
5. Special Effects Techician
6. Writer (Now you're talking!)
7. Graphic Designer (I did a little of that too, I think it was my first paying job.)
8. Critic
9. Interpreter
10. Musician (That would be a dream career!)



Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.
Tags:
 
 
Music: Falling You - Shadow Child
 
 
Bryan
12 September 2007 @ 11:31 pm
Falling You  
I love when I discover something new and inspiring, whether it’s a new author, a new series, or, like now, a new band.

Arranged by composer John Michael Zorko, Falling You enlists the haunting and heavenly vocals of Dru Allen (This Ascension), Victoria Lloyd (Claire Voyant), Suzanne Perry (Love Spirals Downwards) and others. The resulting albums Touch (2005) and Human (2006) present beautiful blend of dark ambient passages coupled with subtle, shadowy electronica and some of the nicest ethereal female voices available.

Floating effortlessly between the realms of brooding ambience and swirling ethereal soundscapes, Falling You is a gentle and melancholic trip that is best experienced when the moon is high, the atmosphere is serene and the lights are out. The lyrics are poetic and deeply personal, the music sorrowful, sublime, soothing. The sound often has doleful classical elegance about it, evoking wistful, introspective moods. There’s emotion, but no rush or urgency. (We’ll get there when we get there, my love... just stay beside me along the way...)

The various voices are often given plenty of space, instrumental accompaniment tending to be low key, tastefully sparse. Beats don’t dominate when they are present, rather they work to drive the smooth instrumentation into motion – simple rhythmic structures that maintain the focus firmly on the singers. There is a strongly cinematic thread running through many tracks that at its most brooding might suggest a gothic influence, but more accurately reflects the luxurious appeal of darker tones and somber atmospheres, the drama of eventide, the mystique of candlelight...

Very relaxing and inspiring music, a perfect choice for an evening nap, a late night with someone close, or a bubble bath surrounded by candles.

(Yeah, I just read that last sentence. I’m going to go lift weights and fix the sink and yell at the football players on TV.)
Tags:
 
 
Mood: impressed
Music: Falling You - Destiny Trip
 
 
Bryan
09 September 2007 @ 05:56 pm
Starships Galore  
Okay, if you're half as nerdy as I am, you're so gonna love this! I used to wonder how smaller Enterprise D would be compared to Battlestar Galactica, how big exactly is Borg Cube and what is the size of Moya--well, I finally found all these answers, and more.

See for yourself.

Anyone interested in more charts and pictures, check out these sites:

Starship Dimensions
Starship Size Comparison
Fleet Charts
Tags: ,
 
 
Mood: nerdy
Music: Kate Bush - Lily
 
 
Bryan
07 September 2007 @ 05:34 pm
Cloudy Skies Clear  
Okay, put away the knives. I'm not going to rant about real-person slash (RPS). But someone did ask me what I thought of it, so here they are, my ever-so-humble views:

Personally, I have little interest in real-person slash. It doesn't really offend my moral sensibilities, possibly because I have no moral sensibilities. When I think of the RL celebrity-types whom I find attractive and put them together in bed, my reaction's pretty much, "Ho hum. Where are Alexander and Hephaistion?"

This is quite possibly because I'm a history-slash whore, and find men most interesting when they're dead or divine, at least as fictional subjects (no offense to real men! I love men).

Take Greco-Roman history and myth. When I'm writing those, I can dictate the specifics of the story; I'm more in control of the narrative line, less constrained by dull things like reality. I'd rather invent my own details, or brush off dusty ones from history books.

In other words, I'm not into RPS because I'm a big research-lovin' control freak.

Apart from that, I've finished with the second season of Doctor Who. Boy, that was emotional. (Btw, is it known why Billie Piper left the show?) I got to see Jake again, which was a pleasant surprise. And the reuinion between Rose and Mickey was funny--he seemed happier and more confident than ever before, and didn't seemed to be missing her at all. Which only confirmed that Jake is the right one for him. :)

 
 
Mood: geeky
Music: Röyksopp - Only This Moment
 
 
Bryan
06 September 2007 @ 08:05 pm
Addio Maestro  
Luciano Pavarotti died today. I'm sad, yet I feel so privileged for having the chance to hear him performing live when he was in Belgrade two years ago. He was the greatest.
 
 
Music: Luciano Pavarotti - Nessun Dorma
 
 
Bryan
04 September 2007 @ 09:34 pm
White Flags and Glass Houses  
I admit it: I'm defeated. The idea that people don't want to hear that I liked their fiction confuses the hell out of me, so much that I can't even conceive of writing feedback any more.

I know what I said before, but honestly I'm not interested in doing mini-betas every time I sit down to read a story. I hate doing regular betas, and now I'm supposed to do this with feedback? The mind boggles. Why do I have to be responsible to the writer? I just want to read for the pleasure of it, and talk about the source of that pleasure. Why do I have to pause and point out a thousand flaws? I don't read work that has a thousand flaws; I discard it, bored and annoyed.

My writing is getting all tangled up in this anxiety about what other people want or like, too. I don't want to care what people think; I want to write for pleasure, even if that's a masochistic sort of pain-tinged pleasure. Not that I don't want to improve, but that's the point of soliticing solid betas, of engaging in onlist writing discussions, of reading articles on the writing process, all of which I do.

You know why I really hate it? It's the power that people wield when they assume they can criticize me. They elevate themselves and knock me down. I don't want to be anyone's fucking puppy. I'm very much a pro-active writer, and being reduced to a curly-haired lapdog for some egomaniacal bitch just doesn't sit well with me.

It all comes down to "People in glass houses..."

But instead of actually writing something, I took these quizzes about what kind of a writer I am.


It's funny--some people told me that I must hate my characters when I make such bad things happening to them. But it's actually quite the opposite; the more I love a character, the more I enjoy to make them suffer. And I do have humor in my stories--only it's mostly black. But I compensate it with lots of erotica.
Tags:
 
 
Mood: confused
Music: Tanita Tikaram - Twist In My Sobriety
 
 
Bryan
03 September 2007 @ 07:11 pm
Best of the Worlds  
Somehow I neglected writing about books in this journal, which is shameful considering how much my life revolves around them. So, to correct my mistake, here are some recommendations of the best SF books that I have read, in no particular order. I'll try to limit this list to only 10 books, but I make no promises! Here it goes:


...and that's it. Okay, so it's not 10 but 17 books. And I could go on still, but I'll refrain. If you've read any of them, feel free to share your impressions; and if you're not, I hope some of this might encourage you to do so.

Bry, book pimp.

Note: some of the material included here (like synopsis's of the books) is gathered from various sources across the internet because I was too lazy to write all of it myself, so the credit for these reviews is not entirely mine.
Tags: ,
 
 
Mood: nerdy
Music: Covenant - Monochrome
 
 
Bryan
01 September 2007 @ 06:05 pm
Autumn Interlude  
So, September's finally here... The temperature dropped significantly, even the rain has fallen. The autumn is definitely coming... Me happy!

Other than that, has anyone else noticed how slashy was the end of The Age of Steel episode of Doctor Who? Mickey staying in that parallel universe with his new best friend Jake... and the looks they gave each other, and the smiles, and the hugs... and then that final scene in the van... I know I'm super-sensitive to subtext (especially when it comes to two guys in almost any possible situation), but this was, like, obvious. It made me giggle like a teenage girl. :)
 
 
Mood: giggly
Music: Qntal - Silver Swan
 
 
Bryan
30 August 2007 @ 03:39 am
Addicted  
Thanks to [info]jplovescraig I've discovered this site with all the JP/Craig scenes available for download. Finally! Hollyoaks episodes are really hard to find in general, and since I have no interest in the series beyond this particular storyline, even if I had downloaded all of them, I'd have to suffer through the hours of horrible soap-opera just to get a glimpse of JP/C relationship. Now, all of their most memorable moments are extracted and collected in one place. So--yay! Whoever you are, I'd lick you like an ice-cream.

Also, I'm in the middle of season two of Doctor Who, and I'm so in love with the show. After disappointing third season of Battlestar Galactica, I needed some good and imaginative sci-fi to refresh me, and Doctor Who delivered everything I was hoping for. Christopher Eccleston was utterly superb as the Doctor, but David Tennant's geeky looks make him perhaps even more charming and lovable. John Barrowman's Captain Jack was absolutely brilliant, and I'm definitely going to check out Torchwood after I finish with this.

Oh, and I really should be writing more and procrastinate less. I haven't written almost anything during the summer, so I probably definitely won't achieve that self-determined minimum by the end of the year. Damn my laziness. I think someone should whip me. You know, just for the sake of my work, nothing else.

The only thing wrong with present-day fic is that... It's present-day. It just doesn't have the same juice as historical slash, like eating a woody pear when you could be sucking on a ripe peach--while you're standing in the Athenian agora, a slave trader squawking by a makeshift stage while you finger a dozen dinar in your pocket. Can't you see it? Those gorgeous naked men chained there, captured soldiers, angry, a little scarred, beautiful?

How can my hands be so cold when the rest of me is so warm? It's still August, but the nights are starting to get frigid here in the wilds of Serbia. Good thing for the fertile stuff crammed in my skull.
 
 
Mood: relaxed
Music: Jody Quine - Hollywood
 
 
Bryan
29 August 2007 @ 10:18 pm
A Measure of Now II (Ares/Iphicles, NC-17)  
"Suck me."

Concentrates on that, tries to, lapping at the head, running his tongue around the crown, one hand fixed at the base. A sundial. No, a whore, pushing his ass back into Ares' tongue and finger, whimpering around the cock in his mouth, vaguely aware of his brother's still form across the room. What if Hercules woke up now and saw this, saw Iphicles with his face stuffed full of cock, his ass fingered and licked by a god? Knowing him, he'd find some way to make it dirty and wrong, when it's the best thing that Iphicles has ever felt, except for the worry about motives that fades in and out. Out now, with an added finger changing rhythms inside him. Suddenly aware of his cock again, hanging thick between his legs, swaying a little. Funny how it's not the center anymore, which has shifted lower to the wet tight place that Ares owns.

There's now a slickness to the fingers slowly fucking him. They're coated with something oilier than spit. It's going to happen, and his heart's clattering in his chest, detaching and floating through him. He's so ready and not ready, open and closed. Needs to see--

"Turn."

Armies follow that voice. Him, too, as he moves back, knees against Ares' waist. And sees this look on Ares' face that stills him, the tense line of Ares' jaw, the shrouded eyes. He's going to be fucked for the first time. It'll change him, which he wants, and maybe hurt like hell, which he might want, too. This hasn't hurt enough, all this stuff with Ares, and it won't be real until it does. Iphicles is used to a painful reality. "Are you going to...?"

"It's why you called me here."

Which isn't a good answer, and he grabs Ares' hands, which are on his hips. "You don't have to, if you don't want to." Tries to sound brave, but it comes out past sulky and near tears.

"I don't do anything I don't want to."

Iphicles is now squatting over Ares' cock, the head hard and insistent against him. He waits for it. Nothing happens. "Ares?"

"You want it? Do it yourself."

"I..." Ready to back off, Iphicles slides a little over the stiff flesh and feels himself open to it. Maybe he can do this, and tries a slow circle. Gets a moan that wraps around the base of his spine. Another circle, then another, and his body relaxes, accepts. Not all the way, not even an inch, just the barest penetration. Stretches him, and Iphicles gasps and wants it even more, teased by the pain, the heat and the fullness. By Ares' almost-closed eyes, his open mouth.

A deep breath, and Iphicles sinks lower. Wider now, stretched too far, and he stops to catch up. His skin is wet everywhere, salting his mouth; his cock sticks straight out over Ares' stomach, very hard. Iphicles thinks that he might look beautiful, sweating and stretched for his first time. Ares doesn't even have to say it, not with his own skin glowing and the burn of his clutching fingers. It brings the weird sense that Iphicles is winning. Sure, Ares has all the power and can stop this with a word, or a punch, or a fireball. Only he doesn't, and Iphicles keeps sliding down his big, hot cock.

A sudden, sharp flare, and the head's in. Can't hold down the groan, and Ares gives him a slow, dark smile before taking Iphicles' hand. He expects it to cover his mouth, but, "Oh, god," he says, because Ares has moved their hands onto Iphicles' cock. The surprise tenses then relaxes him, and there's a final sear as Ares' hips align with his thighs. Full, perfect penetration.

"Good boy," Ares says. Was his voice always that low? "Now fuck me." Still holding Iphicles' fingers, he slides them from the base of his cock to the head. Iphicles goes rigid everywhere, and Ares growls. "Do it hard."

At first, it's slow and awkward as he adjusts, shifting so his body will accept the big cock invading him. Then the head presses hard, right there, and it starts. He starts. Up and down, his thighs straining, up and down, his cock hot in their hands, up and down, his ass flayed, up and down, Ares arching, up and down...

He's whispering Ares' name, and the room's gone now. Just him and Ares, not even him, just Ares, Ares inside him, so hot, stroking him, fucking him, changing him. Only an echo of pain, enough to keep it real, not just a wet dream. Ares is inside him and--

Iphicles loses, hit so hard he can't move, just freezes, quivering, while he comes. There's so much, like his blood's turned to semen, and he shoots it all over Ares' hand, Ares' chest, rivers of it. He might whimper, especially when he hears Ares laughing. He's still coming, still shaking, when Ares pushes him onto his back. They're apart for maybe a second, then Ares spreads Iphicles' legs. One thrust, and he's back, slamming hard, his wet hands on Iphicles' shoulders, pinning him down. Before Iphicles' moan is out, Ares' tongue is in his mouth. The whole house seems to shake, the whole world, as Ares fucks him roughly, bites when he's not kissing.

It doesn't end.

"Come again," Ares says in his ear. "Come again for me."

Can't make a sound by now, can't do anything but be fucked, be used, be taken. He's hard, just like Ares wants, and he jerks off just like Ares orders him. It's so sharp and perfect, he is, broken like old glass, that he comes easily, maybe never stops coming, maybe even cries while it happens. His face is wet, he knows that, so maybe it's sweat, or tears, or Ares' tongue sliding over his mouth, his cheeks, his eyes.

"I'm going to come inside you."

Iphicles does whimper this time, loving the dirtiness, the command, and watches Ares' beautiful, brutal face as it happens. He thinks about Perseus, about Medusa, and hopes the change comes fast; nothing will ever be the same, and that's just what he wants.

The body over him, so hot and slick with sweat, feels like old stone, every muscle tensed. Nothing happens for a breathless instant, then Ares grips his shoulders, fingers to the bone, and-- He's an animal, teeth barred, eyes black, his hips roughly jerking. Wet heat as Ares fills him with come, pain as Ares bites his throat.

This goes on through the night. When the dark finally thins, Iphicles barely notices; he can't move, aching everywhere, come drying on his face, his chest, his stomach, his thighs. It's in his mouth and his hair, an ocean up his ass. Always under it are bruises from Ares' fingers and teeth, dark purple-blue like the sky outside. He needs sleep, years of it, but still knows when Ares is about to leave and reaches for him. "Wait."

"You want more?" Ares sounds amused.

"Don't go." In the other bed, Hercules, long forgotten, is shifting.

"Why not?"

"Because you won't come back." Iphicles knows how it works. His father left.

Ares stretches beside him, yawning. His lips are bruised. "You got what you wanted."

"I want more."

"I don't owe you anything."

"I know." He wants Ares to want him, to come back and fuck him all over again. It's not going to happen. Why would it? "But you could still come back. Teach me things. Show me what you know." He sounds desperate, and he is. "Not just the sex stuff. Everything. How to fight. Be strong. I'll be a warrior for you."

"I've got plenty of warriors."

"I'll be better."

"Sure you will." Ares laughs, then he's standing beside the bed, dressed and perfect. He looks down at Iphicles, who has run out of things to say. "You're a mess," he says, and his hand goes out, then falls back. He's gone.

"Who are you talking to, Iph?" Hercules asks in a sleepy voice.

"No one, jerk-off. Go back to sleep." As the sun moves higher, Iphicles sees what Ares saw: the streaks of come everywhere. It's leaking out of him, too. His mom will freak, and he can't tell her anything. Can't tell anyone. It's this special thing between him and Ares, this thing that's made him a man, even if he still can't fight worth shit. His thighs scream when he slides his feet off the bed and onto the floor, and more muscles complain when he bends to grab his clothes.

Dressed, he pads quietly downstairs, out the back door, and down to the river. The come is running out now, so he runs with it, his bare feet kicking up small clouds on the sandy path. No noise, not even a bird, except for the sound of his feet. The sun should be loud, the way it's beating the darkness, but fights quietly. Iphicles, already pushing past reeds high as his hip, with soft heads that he rubs between his fingers, thinks about Ares, wonders how he'd be on the battlefield. He fucks without a lot of noise...Iphicles stays with that a minute, a hand over his used cock. Just moans and growls. Words, sometimes, dirty ones, about what he wants Iphicles to do, or what he's doing. He's got to find a battle and see. Someone in town will know. Time to leave this shit-hole, anyway. His mother won't miss him, and Hercules--well, he needs to learn to take care of himself.

Iphicles drops his tunic in the grass, then wades in. No bite to the water, not even this early, with summer coming. When it reaches his chest, he dives down to the mossy bottom and lies there, letting the river touch him where Ares did. Stays down until it hurts, his lungs bracing against his chest, then bursts to the surface, blinking in the light. Shakes back his hair and remembers Ares' fingers tangled in it, helping him improve his blow job skills.

On his back, Iphicles floats and stares blindly at the sky through water-heavy lashes. Even without the come, he should sink, weighted by change and newness. He's got an adult body, not a kid's, and he squeezes and strokes himself, testing for differences. Finds only bruises and raw skin, all the marked places that Ares left. Maybe they'll heal tougher, stronger, until nothing can hurt him again. He's picturing this, him on the battlefield, fighting at Ares' side, when Hercules' voice reaches him.

"Iph! Breakfast!"

Sting of resentment, then he ducks under again and swims languidly to shore. Sand warming his soles, he picks up his tunic, which is streaked with juice, and rinses it before tugging it on. It's tight and uncomfortable as he walks, but his mother can't know about last night. She wouldn't understand. Or maybe she would, and that would be even worse. No, he decides, it doesn't matter. They'll know something's different. They'll see him and know. He'll be a man to them.

"What happened to you?" Hercules asks as Iphicles walks into the kitchen. "You went swimming by yourself? We're not supposed to do that."

"Iphicles, you're making a mess," his mother says over her shoulder, as she prods the fire under the pot. "Go upstairs and put on some dry clothes before you catch a cold."

He says nothing, just stands in the doorway, the sun warm on his back. Waiting.

"Wake up, Iph. Mom wants you to change so we can eat, then do the chores. Stop wasting time."

"Come on, Iphicles." She sounds a little impatient, and looks up at him. Her lips are pursed. "You're dripping water all over my clean floor."

"I fell in," Iphicles announces dramatically. "I could've drowned."

"And that's why, young man, you're not going in that river for the next two weeks, until you can learn some responsibility."

"Aw, mom, that's not fair." Hercules pushes back his chair. "That means I can't swim, either."

"Sorry, Hercules, but that's your brother's fault. He knows the rules."

"Good one, Iph. You're such a loser."

"That's enough out of you," she tells Hercules. "Now go upstairs, Iphicles. Now. You'll have to wear your old tunic. It'll be a bit tight, but..."

He hates that they don't see and decides to force the issue. "I wasn't alone last night. Ares was here."

"Iphicles! That's enough. Your dreams are private--no one needs to hear them. Bad enough that you've made a mess of the sheets. Now go before..."

He misses the rest as he runs upstairs. Unchanged.
___