New Habits

Disclaimer - DC and WB own them, etc.

CLex, naturally. Future fic. Humour. Rated R for language.

Feedback would be looooved. Really.

Lex and Lois had a lot more in common than either of them would probably care to admit. Clark wasn't about to use terms like 'obsessive compulsive'...okay, maybe he was.

There were differences, certainly. Lois didn't hold anything back. Ever. Where no one was ever left in any doubt of what her opinion on a particular subject was, Lex was almost the polar opposite; keeping everything contained with just a hint of what he really felt bubbling beneath the surface.

Regardless, Lex and Lois were the two most obsessively determined people Clark had ever met. Whether it was recklessly chasing down any lead in pursuit of that next Pulitzer winner or risking it all to accomplish the latest takeover, both left Clark feeling as if the Man of Steel was capable of developing an ulcer.

So it really shouldn't have come as a surprise when they started sleeping together.

Not that Clark thought for a single second that there was any sleeping going on.

He should have mentioned all the things she'd warned him about but had never taken to heart herself; what about journalistic integrity? What about not getting involved with the story?

"Why are you fucking Lex?"

Or that.

Some things he was never going to grow out of. Apparently blurting out stupid questions as soon as they came to mind was one of them. That was probably proof enough that he was in the wrong profession.

Lois snorted as she dug through her purse, walking further away from the Planet as they headed to their latest lunch hang out. "It's *fun*, Clark."

He tried to imagine Lex having fun but all he could think of was laughing eyes over pool tables and silent amusement in the Talon. "But you hate him, Lois. You're always trying to take him down."

"So is Superman," she argued, quickly adding an "ah ha!" when she located a rogue cigarette amongst the black hole that was her purse, and quickly lit it up.

"Yeah, well I doubt Superman's sleeping with him," Clark pointed out, trying not to sound glum. He knew first hand that he wasn't sleeping with Lex. Hell, his *hand* knew first hand that he wasn't sleeping with Lex.

He kicked absently at a stone.

A window broke a mile away.

Clark cleared his throat.

"That's not the point," Lois mumbled around her cigarette, throwing the lighter back into oblivion and hooking her purse over her shoulder. The cigarette came out of her mouth rapidly followed by a cloud of smoke. "It's a game Clark. It's always been a game. This is just the next stage."

Clark wondered at what point Lois had become so twisted, then realised she had probably always been that way.

With Lex he didn't even need to ask. They were sitting in the penthouse, Lex leaning against the wall holding a glass of scotch, Clark sitting on a leather sofa feeling like he should be drinking something stronger than the beer in his hand.

They hadn't said a word for five minutes when Lex spoke.

"She's a very attractive woman, Clark."

Clark couldn't help it. "It's Lois, Lex."

"I find her...intriguing."

Yeah. Sure. "It's *Lois*, Lex."

Chuckling, Lex pushed away from the wall and moved towards him. "Okay, fair enough. She can be somewhat..."

"Irritating?"

"...overbearing. But you have to let me have a little fun, Clark."

Fun? Why was everyone having fun all of a sudden? What was so wrong with being miserable? What'd happened to the nicotine-addicted journalist whose relationships never lasted longer than three dates and the powerful billionaire whose wives kept trying to kill him?

And could he sound any more pathetic?

"Let me guess," Clark said, apparently deciding that he could, "it's a 'game', right?"

By now Lex was lounging on the sofa next to him, one arm draped comfortable over the back as he regarded his friend. "She thinks she's getting close, Clark. To me, to the story of a lifetime."

True, Lex was definitely newsworthy, but there was something in the way he spoke. "Story?"

Lex shrugged. "I'm the closest she's going to get to Superman."

Clark stared. And stared.

Lex was Superman's nemesis. It had never been officially declared but it was pretty much public knowledge - as it was intended to be. Lex knew Clark's secret of course - had done for some time - but in return he'd demanded that he be allowed to protect him. Clark had resisted at first...but not for long. In truth he'd been curious to see in precisely which ways Lex was going to take care of him.

It hadn't been what he'd expected.

Every great hero, according to Lex, required a great enemy. Their equal and opposite. By battling their arch nemesis it only made the hero appear stronger, greater. Not that Clark personally considered himself 'great', but Lex did have that fondness for hyperbole.

So, at carefully staged encounters, Superman would catch Lex doing something highly dubious but never quite illegal. Lois would always be there of course, and the next morning the Daily Planet's front page would be dominated by some variation of its - by now traditional - 'Superman Battles Luthor' headline.

Clark hadn't liked it, painting Lex as the bad guy, but he'd absolutely insisted. Until someone 'truly worthy' of Superman appeared, he was all too happy to shoulder the responsibility and play the Evil Villain.

Clark suspected Lex just liked his comic books a little too much.

So he stared at Lex, now, disbelieving. "Lex...please...*please* tell me you're not sleeping with her just to keep her away from Superman."

No. No no no.

Lex shook his head. "Clark, trust me on this. I don't do anything I don't want to do. Like I said, she's an attractive woman and she wasn't about to start having sex with you-"

"Gee thanks."

"-because you're her *partner* and all things Rockwellian. I am having immense amounts of fun. As is she."

Fun again. Wooo. "Okay," Clark sighed, not really okay with anything, "I just...I never wanted you to do this Lex. I never wanted you to do any of this. Not for me."

Tipping his head to one side, Lex smiled. "And what if I wanted it for me, Clark?"

Screwing in private was one thing, appearing at galas and openings together was something else entirely.

Clark glared at the latest society pages (another hospital wing opening. Were they really so important?) with such intensity that he was almost surprised that they didn't go up in flames.

When they suddenly *did* go up in flames he yelped, threw them into the nearest trash can and stamped the fire out with his feet.

Unsurprisingly no one had noticed. The bullpen in the Daily Planet was disorganised chaos at the best of times, and quite frankly things suddenly going up in flames wasn't that unusual. Or not since he'd started working there, anyway.

The only person who might have noticed was distracted by talking on the phone to...her head was cocked to one side, she was smiling brightly, her latest nicotine patch visible through her white blouse...yup, definitely Lex.

Clark didn't need to listen to their conversation. He didn't want to. He'd already been through enough trauma thankyouverymuch. Overhearing Lois' pet name for Lex's cock a week earlier had left him coughing up his café latte with such intensity that he'd knocked over the entire international section and blamed it on a sudden and extremely unlikely gust of wind.

Ignoring the unpleasant smell of charred newspaper, Clark flopped carefully back into his chair and typed slowly at the keyboard with his pen.

Lex(space)and(space)Lois(return)
Sitting(space)in(space)a(space)tree(return, caps lock)
K(space)I(space)S(space)S(space)I(space)N-

"Kent!"

By the time Clark had calmed down from what surely would have been a heart attack for anyone else, Perry had already moved away having said something Clark had absolutely no memory of. He was a little busy trying to figure out a way of pulling out the pen that had not only driven all the way through the keyboard, but also partially through the desk too.

"Hey Smallville,"

Clark twisted automatically, putting his elbow between Lois' eyes and the destruction on his desk. "Lois?"

She was frowning at him, obviously having finished her phone call. "Lex is on line two for you."

"Okay, thanks Lois!" He grinned too much but she sighed and turned away, so he picked up the phone with his left hand and pulled at the keyboard with his right. "Hey Lex."

Agreeing to meet Lex for lunch as soon as he asked, Clark mumbled something that was hopefully appropriate and stood up, putting on the jacket that'd been hanging over the back of his chair.

Eyeing his desk, he eventually covered up the mess with the notes for his latest story, creating a paper mountain in the process.

What the hell, he thought, as he walked away from his desk. He could live without the G key.

Lex must have been in a good mood. They went for burgers.

It wasn't McDonald's of course, or any other name recognised by the public at large, but the point was that Clark plus burgers equaled one very happy Kryptonian.

Wrapping his lips around his third one, he paused only when he realised Lex was staring at him. "Wex?"

Lex's lips twitched. Possibly with amusement. "I understand there have been a few odd occurrences at work lately, Clark. Is everything okay?"

Swallowing heavily, Clark sighed. Lex knew. How did Lex know?

What was he saying? Lex was *Lex*. Lex knew *everything*. "Fine. Just a bit distracted."

"You've been distracted ever since Lois and I started seeing each other," he cocked his head to one side with...oh God, with *sympathy*. "You know Clark, it's okay to be jealous."

It was just as well he still had his hands on the latest burger, or the force of his gasp would have made him swallow it down whole. He tried, at least, not to *sound* insane. "I'm not jealous."

"Really, there's nothing wrong with it," Lex continued as if Clark hadn't said a word, "it's perfectly natural. You're human...sort of. Jealousy's a perfectly valid emotion."

When had Lex started talking to him like he was some five year-old kid? "Not jealous. Really." Even to *him* he sounded lame.

"You're not?" Lex sounded surprised. "I'm dating an extremely beautiful and talented woman, someone who you spend a great deal of time around - personal or otherwise - and you're not jealous at all?" He grinned. "*I'd* be jealous of me."

Oh. Ohhhhhh. Clark swallowed a gulp of his soda, thumping the glass back on the table. "I'm okay Lex. Honestly."

"Really?"

"Really." Clark nodded enthusiastically. "I am absolutely, definitely, one hundred per cent not jealous of *you*." He leered at Lex, willing him to hear the thing that he wasn't *quite* saying (and thinking he'd probably look a lot sexier if he didn't have burger relish around his mouth, but oh well), but as usual Lex seemed completely oblivious.

Oh yeah. The guy who knew everything except *that*.

Seeming relieved, he did nothing but smile broadly. "I'm very glad to hear that, Clark. You've never said you felt anything for Lois other than friendship, but..."

Clark smiled tightly. It hurt. "Thanks Lex. You're a good friend."

Maybe he'd be able to pull that pen out of his desk and stab himself with it.

As it turned out that thing Perry had been talking to him about was a stake out. They'd had a tip that...oh hell, Clark couldn't remember. All he knew - and really cared about - was that he was supposed to sit in a car, watch a building, and make a note if anyone went inside.

And completely ignore the woman sitting next to him.

It wasn't easy. Lois wasn't a quiet person in general, always muttering about something or fidgeting, moving, just completely unable to keep *still*. Tonight, however, there was something different. Her body kept tensing and un-tensing, tensing and un-tensing, and Clark knew exactly what it was.

Eventually it reached the point where he couldn't help himself and, feeling distinctly un-Clark, he said it:

"How's the giving up smoking going, Lois?"

"FINE!" She yelled.

He would not snicker. He would not snicker. He would not-

She whacked him.

Clark feigned injury. "I didn't laugh!"

"You were thinking it," she growled and yeah, she had a point.

Puckering his lips together he looked back out the car window, absently thinking that they were both really *bad* at their jobs.

His thoughts couldn't stay away from her for long of course, and the fact that she was the woman *having sex with Lex*. And not just some one-night or fuck buddy thing. They were dating, which seemed to be a more serious development than either of them had indicated. Clark couldn't even remember the last time Lex had actively dated anyone (two years ago, Laura Chappell, worked with the dinosaur exhibit at the museum. Clark thought that said a lot about her), so maybe that was the reason it was hitting him so hard now. The idea that Lex had a future with someone who...

Wasn't him.

Glowering, he folded his arms across his chest and lowered further into the car seat. This was all Lex's fault. Stuff of legends, men being able to fly - what else was an impressionable teenager supposed to do but fall in love with his brilliant best friend?

They sat there for another hour or so, Lois still trying to claw out of her skin, Clark still trying to sink further into his, when she looked at the time and gasped.

"I have to go, Clark. I'm meeting-"

Clark knew. Lex had told him at lunch. "Have fun!" He interrupted, plastering on a grin that probably looked homicidal. "I'll tell Perry it was a bust for tonight and that we'll"-

"Uh, Kent?" She winked at him. "This is *my* car."

Oh. Yeah. Right.

Starting the engine, she looked at him again. "Want me to drop you somewhere?"

Clark doubted Krypton was an option.

He was a masochist. That had to be it. That had to be the reason that instead of staking out some dingy building for who-knew-what reason, he was now staking out one of the finest buildings in Metropolis.

The one containing Lex's penthouse.

And Lex and Lois.

Having sex.

Lots of hot, sweaty, no doubt *fantastic* sex.

Having munched his way through four bags of cheeto's Clark realised he needed something to wash them down with, but didn't want to move from the building he was leaning against - even though his super speed ensured it'd be a short trip.

Eventually convincing himself that nothing would happen while he was gone, Clark began to move...only to stop moving when he realised he was at the door to the penthouse.

Great. Now even his subconscious was working against him. Or possibly his super powers. Yes! They were both in this together and no doubt the reason for him lifting up his hand and knocking on the door. Repeatedly.

Thirty seconds passed with no response, and Clark was just reaching the stage where he was going to say to hell with his ethics and x-ray through the door when it suddenly opened to reveal Lex.

Looking rumpled.

Clark couldn't remember Lex actually looking *rumpled* before. His shirt was partially un-tucked from his pants, most of the buttons on that same shirt were undone, and he was breathing heavily.

If rumpled was something Lex had never experimented with before, as far as Clark was concerned it was something he really should experiment with at every available opportunity because...wow. Rumpled was such a good look for him.

"Clark?" Lex questioned, no doubt wondering what was so fascinating about his chest. "What are you doing here?"

Right. Lex's face. Hi Lex's face. "Oh, just thought I'd drop by-"

"Lex," Lois' voice called out, and both men looked towards it. "Whoever that is I should probably get going anyway - early start tomorrow. Life of a journalist and all-" she appeared in the doorway next to Lex. "Oh hey Clark!"

He mumbled something as they said their goodbyes, and he really couldn't look so focused his vision on the wall, but dammit, his hearing definitely told him there'd been extensive tongue usage.

Lois brushed by him and then it was just *them*, him and Lex, the way it used to be and the way it always *should* be.

Opening the door further for him, Lex stepped back to allow him access and Clark went eagerly, still having no idea of what he was actually doing.

Hovering near the door even after it was closed, Clark tracked Lex's movements with his eyes, watching as he walked to the bar and started pouring drinks for both of them.

Inhaling heavily Clark nearly started choking on the pervasive smell of Lois's perfume - she must have sprayed some just before leaving - but then he realised that the smell of something *else* was missing.

He couldn't smell sex. There was no hint of arousal, no smell of come. And come to think of it, the two of them had been alone together for *hours* and they'd only just got to the stripping stage. Barely started at that.

Confused, his brain maybe starting to figure something out, he took a step forward. Lex was still at the bar but Clark wasn't really seeing him now, putting things together - all the things he *hadn't* heard or seen or smelt.

He'd been so wrapped up in the *idea* that he hadn't even thought to look for absolute proof. What the hell kind of journalist was he?

Apart from that kiss at the door - which Clark hadn't actually witnessed - he'd never seen them be physical with each other. Sure, sometimes in person or in the society photos there was a hand on her side, a touch to his shoulder, a brief press of her lips to his cheek, but that was it.

That. Was. It.

Clark only realised he'd kept walking when Lex turned around and was right in front of him.

He looked surprised. "Clar-?"

"What were you doing just now? Before I came in?"

Smirking, Lex glanced away coyly. "I should think that was obvious-"

"You're lying to me." Clark said with wonder, as certain about this as he ever had been about anything. "You're *lying* to me!"

There were no denials, no objections. Just a question. "Why are you here, Clark?"

Despite the progress he'd made, old instincts kicked in. "I told you, I just decided to drop by."

"Clark, welcome as you are at any hour, most people don't decide to just drop by at one thirty in the morning."

Right, there was that. All right, he could do this. He'd learnt things tonight and it...it was enough. "I had to see you. You were right before, Lex. I was jealous." Here it went. "But not of you."

Lex's face didn't change from the impassive mask he always wore in situations like this, but in his eye there was a glimmer of...something. "I had to know, Clark." He moved, turning and walking away, left hand clutching at his glass. "I'd...felt something for a friend of mine for some time and *God* I was tired," still turned away his shoulders slumped; his whole *body* slumped, "so fucking tired of not knowing, of always wondering, so I decided to run a little...experiment."

Clark's glass was still on the bar. He picked it up and downed the contents in one gulp. "Experiment?" he wheezed.

Finally turning to face him, Lex smiled with self-deprecation. "I'm a scientist, Clark. I brought Lois in, deciding that if I could tell her - my biggest 'enemy' - then I was definitely ready. She took some convincing of course, worried about you, if I was after anything untoward..."

"What did you give her?"

Lex shrugged easily. He still hadn't touched his drink. "The story of a lifetime."

And Clark got it. A story. About *them*. About how they got to this point. There would be no mention of Superman of course, but everything else would be right *there*.

It was the kind of thing a person like Lex Luthor would never allow. To be so exposed, so revealed. So *real*.

Which was exactly why he'd agree to it. So Clark would *know*.

"Lex," he stumbled after him, forcing his legs to work and his glass was gone and maybe Lex's was too but it didn't matter, nothing mattered except for the man standing in front of him, "why the fuck can't you do anything *normal*?"

The responding laughter wasn't long and loud - it was never long and loud - but it was the most beautiful thing Clark had ever heard.

"I'm a bald billionaire who's been in love with an alien for the last seven years, Clark. I don't think I can *do* normal."

Clark kept moving again, running purely on instinct until Lex was against a wall. His hands were on Lex's shoulders, arms, hips, and then his mouth was millimetres away. "Then you'll be glad to know that this alien farmboy," oh God, this was *Lex*, "kinda gave up on the normal thing a long time ago."

Their mouths slid together with imperfect perfection, messy, heated, and he was kissing Lex kissing Lex and Lex was kissing back and they had to break for Lex to breathe and when they did he panted out, "What the hell have you been eating?"

Clark laughed. Told him to shut up. And promptly kissed him again.

There was noise. There was noise but Clark really didn't want to move. He was in bed, with a naked Lex in his arms. He wasn't moving ever again. They could get food delivered; surely Lex could get anything delivered.

Besides, it wasn't as if it was dangerous noise. It didn't sound threatening and if Lex hadn't noticed then it couldn't be that loud either. Probably just his superhearing overreacting. He had just had fantastic sex, after all.

Clark took a moment or two - or three - to gloat. True, he was only gloating to himself, but it was something that was definitely worth gloating over.

Lex mumbled something in his sleep.

Closing his eyes Clark pulled him closer. He was finally here, it was so *right* and-

The door slammed open.

Clark's post-coital addled mind couldn't even think of moving off the bed so instead he started yanking the covers up, trying to protect Lex who was somehow still out cold, when he was almost blinded by a sudden flash of light.

Blinking heavily, he now knew exactly who it was. "Lois!"

There she stood in the doorway, Polaroid camera in one hand, rapidly developing photograph in the other, smiling her ass off. "Clark?" Her voice was all innocence.

He'd been so angry that he was only now realising that she was dressed in some kind of military assault uniform. And was the black make-up smeared across her face absolutely necessary? "Lois..."

"Don't worry Clark," she told him, lifting up the photo with her thumb and forefinger and blowing on it lightly, "this isn't for the Planet." Holding it at arms length so she could study it in the light from the hallway, she smiled wickedly. "This is for me."

~FINIS