Disclaimer - WB and DC own them. Damn.

For yamadara's fic challenge. Requirements:

Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Line: "What do you mean you're pregnant?"

Characters owned by DC and WB. Ha! Rated PG-13 for some sexual content.

Feedback would be, like, so cool! *g* Many smooches to my smoochie.

*

"Lex, this is NOT FUNNY!"

Clark imagined that right now, to any sane person he'd be looking pretty scary. Okay, so he wasn't *hugely* physically imposing, but to people who knew what he was capable of? They'd realise that having someone who could shoot fire from their eyes pissed at you was not a good idea.

But not Lex Luthor. Oh no. It was as if he *liked* it when Clark got angry with him. Freak.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Lex gasped for breath, quite clearly not sorry at all, "it's just..."

Really, who *else* started laughing when their boyfriend from another planet told them-

"...what do you mean you're pregnant?"

Yeah. That.

Lex was chuckling again, seeming far too amused for Clark's peace of mind.

"I'm not joking Lex. I wouldn't make something like this up-"

"No, no." Lex finally stood up, his expression a little more serious as he stepped around to the front of his desk, walking towards him. "I know you wouldn't, Clark." He paused just in front of him with a sincere smile. "But...you're an alien. You're gay - which in some places is akin to the same thing. You're more or less impervious to harm, you're faster than my most expensive car, and when you get horny laser beams shoot from your eyes." He grinned wickedly for a moment, and Clark knew he was remembering the first time they'd discovered *that* particular development and the subsequent damage it'd caused to Lex's bedroom. Oops. "And now you're pregnant. It's like...what else is there?"

Okay. All right. Clark could see how this whole thing could seem kinda ridiculous. He tried not to smile. It'd ruin the whole righteous indignation thing he had going. "I see your point." There. That was good.

Nodding, Lex gently nudged him with his arm, indicating towards the leather sofas next to the fire. "Come on." When they were sitting down next to each other, Lex regarded him warmly but seriously. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

Clark shrugged, trying to act as if this kind of thing happened to him every day. "I got up this morning, had a shower, and noticed a little bump on my chest." His hand lifted towards it slightly as he remembered. "I x-rayed through it, wondering if I actually had an infection or something for once..." That'd been scary enough on its own. He didn't get infections, or sick. Ever. But what he'd seen had scared him even more. "...I can see a foetus in there, Lex."

Yeah, he was quite possibly freaking out now. He had a feeling he'd pretty much been in shock since realising but now that he was *here*, now that he was with Lex he could freak out to his hearts content. "Clark." Man, pregnant. Pregnant. Where on Earth...ha, where on Krypton was the baby going to come out of? He shuddered. "*Clark*."

Lex's voice was calm but firm, just the right combination. Just what he needed right now. "Lex?"

"Can I see?"

He hesitated, suddenly feeling embarrassed, but after telling himself he was being ridiculous he grabbed the hem of his red t-shirt and pulled it off over his head. Scrunching the shirt up into a ball he held it tightly in his hands, while Lex leaned towards him to examine his chest.

The bump had appeared on the right side just below his breast muscle, and Clark did another quick x-ray check...yep. Still pregnant.

Crap.

But Lex was staring at the bump with sheer fascination now, the kind of fascination he usually reserved for some new scientific discovery. Which, admittedly, was probably what this was.

"Can I...?" Lex asked quietly, but he was already reaching out to touch it gently, the ends of his fingertips barely passing over it. "That's incredible."

"It's freaky," Clark insisted, part of him still wanting to freak out and not acknowledge that Lex was making him feel better already.

"It's incredible," Lex replied, lifting his gaze to smile up at him, "you're incredible. Do I not tell you that enough?"

Well, Lex told him that just about every other day and Clark had realised by now that it wasn't just because he was an alien. "You know me and compliments, Lex." He lowered his gaze and dammit, he was pregnant with another man's child. How was he even capable of blushing anymore?

There was suddenly a hand in his hair and a mouth on his lips and for a few moments he forgot all about alien pregnancies and superpowers.

Lex's mouth released his before moving to his ear, speaking intently. "Whatever it takes, Clark. Whatever it costs, whatever I have to *do*, we'll find out about this, I swear to God. Whatever happens I'll be right here beside you. Any child of yours is going to be beautiful."

If anyone asked, Clark was completely blaming the sudden dryness of his throat on the pregnancy.

"But..." Lex sighed, breath warm against Clark's throat. "I don't think this is something we can hide from your parents."

Suddenly laughing, Clark felt Lex's lips smiling against his skin, though he probably shouldn't have found it amusing. His parents weren't going to be happy - his parents *really* weren't going to be happy. The one small saving grace would maybe be the fact that they'd waited until Clark was eighteen before having sex. Or kissing. Or doing anything at all. Lex had absolutely insisted that they had to wait, despite Clark's many and various attempts at convincing him otherwise.

Still, in Clark's opinion, breaking into Lex's bedroom at 12:01 AM on the morning of his eighteenth birthday had been entirely worth it.

And he realised now he was feeling kind of...calm. Non-freaky. Clark-like.

How did Lex do that?

At some point he'd let go of the shirt because his arms were now around Lex, and Lex was doing a very nice job indeed of sitting across his lap. Guh.

"Clark?"

"Mmm?" Oh God, hip movement.

"You're an alien, right?"

Ohhhhhhhh. "Yesssssssss."

"You think that means you can get pregnant again when you're pregnant already?"

Lex was taunting him, he *knew* Lex was taunting him, but at this point he really didn't care if he could or not. "Lex," Clark breathed, mouthing his lips against Lex's neck, "if we ever break up I'm suing your ass for alimony."

~FINIS

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