Disclaimer - we'll never see them do this on screen...but if they did I'd laugh like a hyeena.

*

I know a Star Trek lady
Name of Chastity Katie
She makes my temperature freeze
She's got compression phaser power
When she gives you a shout
She'll bring you to your knees

*

The time had come. She had finally made her decision after all the years of weighing the consequences, how it would affect their working relationship, how the crew would react...she was going to have sex with her first officer.

Only that was a lie. It *hadn't* taken years to effectively weigh the consequences and issues at hand. At most, that had taken a week after she realised she was attracted to him and Mark was a *long* way away.

There was only one thing that had prevented her from persuing a relationship with him, and by now she had had enough. Five *long* years of being a bit too embarrassed to say anything about it. She thought that waiting that long a time was quite remarkable; Kathryn Janeway wasn't exactly known or admired for her patience. She felt she had held out very well to wait until now.

Now, how to bring up the subject?

Man, *that* could be seen the wrong way if taken out of context...Kathryn giggled, before forcing herself to stop and deciding that she might be getting a tad too obsessed with the idea of having sex.

Okay, what was the best way of bringing the conversation around to that subject? Yes, that was *definitely* a less-inflammatory way to put it.

Maybe she should just blurt out the truth. It would save more time.

*

Not beeping, not requesting entry, Kathryn simply entered in her override code and barged into Chakotay's quarters to discover him reading some kind of magazine. Startled, he looked up from the floor to see who it was and then quickly shoved the said magazine under a cushion on the sofa he was leaning against. His voice was a bit too high-pitched when he greeted her.

"Captain, hi! How are you today?"

Grabbing the edge of the glass table that rested on the carpet between them, she flung it to one side, only to watch in slight mortification as the top went flying into the wall and smashed into thousands of glittering pieces while the metal base remained where it was.

"Ugh. I hate Starfleet-issue tables..." she muttered, ignoring the confused looks he was sending her as she grabbed the base and tried to pull it aside. Muscles strained, eyes bulged, veins suddenly became easily seen. No, no, this was *not* making her look attractive she realised, and quickly stopped.

Pulling the sash on her robe even tighter she glared at him.

"Oh, right! You want my help!" he laughed nervously as he stood and together they managed to pull the base aside, amidst gruntings and a variety of swear words in many different languages.

"I see your Klingon is getting better," he commented.

Too out of breath to glare at him, she pointed back to the spot where he had been sitting. "We're going to do this again. That...*table*...lost some of the impact." she gasped.

"Fine, okay," he agreed, not wanting to upset her any further and quickly sitting down as he had been.

"I'll be right back," she informed him, turning and leaving him confused and alone in his quarters.

Fifteen minutes later she returned carrying a light-weight plastic table which she promptly placed in front of him. He watched her with a curiousity bordering on panic. "It doesn't go with anything in my quarters."

"It doesn't matter! Now, we're starting again, okay?"

He replied feebly, worried that his beloved Kathryn had lost her beloved mind. "Okay."

Nodding, she left his quarters again only to barge back in ten seconds later. Pounding her feet on the floor as she approached him, she reached down to grab the edge of the table and threw it to one side. If she was relieved that it worked this time, she didn't show it, quickly lowering herself to grab the edge of his shirt to pull him up slightly. Speaking into his ear she said:

"I want to have sex."

He hiccuped.

"What the hell are you doing?" she demanded, pulling away from the side of his face to look at him.

Chakotay's eyes were like those of a gold fish; wide-eyed and permenantly shocked. In fact, his mouth was beginning to look like a gold fish's too. Another hiccup emerged. "Uh...sorry...you caught me by surprise."

He had a point. "Fair enough. But we have a problem." Releasing her hold on him as he hiccuped again, she grabbed the sash that held her robe together and undid it. As the sash fell away she let the robe fall to the floor.

His hiccups stopped.

He frowned. "What the hell is *that*?"

Kathryn sighed, trying not to pout. "It's a chastity belt. When I was asleep the last night in the Alpha Quadrant Mark put it on me. I was furious when I woke up, but he explained that he was worried that if something should go wrong on the mission to find your ship that you or one of your men might try to take advantage of me." She folded her arms across her chest. "And while in some ways I even appreciated the sentiment, he had to punished. I understand from the letter I received from him last year that he's finally able to walk again."

"And you can't get it off?" Chakotay queried, leaning a little closer to study what was apparently the unlocking mechanism.

"Believe me, I've tried everything I can think of. But this is a highly resistant twenty-fourth Century metal. Mark was an unofficial ambassador of sorts, but he also had access to secret information. This chastity belt is made of the most resistant metal he had access to."

Nodding at her words as if it were obvious, he considered their situation. "Well Kathryn...if you really want to get this thing off...I think we're going to have to-"

"Chakotay, I can't do that!"

"It's the only way Kathryn. Nine heads are better than one, remember?"

Picking up her robe again she heaved another sigh. "Fine, fine. Let's get it over with."

Standing up from the floor, he waited for her as she tied the robe. "By the way Kathryn, you have fabulous breasts."

Smiling, she linked her right arm with his left and they left his quarters together. "Actually, they're Seven's. I stole them from her outfit, so if you see her looking surprisingly flat-chested now you know why..."

Chastity Katie, Part 2 - CAPTAIN PROTON AND THE CHASTITY BELT OF DOOM!!

*

Captain Proton and Buster Kincaid carefully and stealthily approached the Chastity Belt of Doom (TM), knowing that silence was absolutely essential to their plan. Communicating only via hand signals, Buster handed the wire he held over to Proton.

Smiling in grim thanks, Proton slowly inserted the wire into the lock. He had spent many hours trapped inside prison cells thanks to Chaotica. Of course he always managed to escape and stop the madman, mainly because Chaotica would tell him all of his plans before leaving him an obvious avenue of escape. He remembered a specific incident when he'd had to use a wire from Constance Goodheart's push-up bra to pick the lock of their cell and get the hell out of dodge...

"Mr Paris, will you please stop narrating?"

Tom looked up from his work to grin at his superior officer. "Oh...sorry Captain. It helps me concentrate."

Harry snorted, glancing at Chakotay. "Uh huh."

Not responding, Tom went back to his work.

Captain Janeway lay on the edge of the briefing room table, her robe still covering her top while her conn officer worked between her legs. By now she was so humiliated that she was starting to forget about being embarrassed.

Harry was assisting Tom if and when it was necessary, and Chakotay just stood on the sidelines, watching. The voyeur. He couldn't keep his eyes off her breasts which were pointing to the ceiling, quite obviously defying artificial gravity.

Thankfully for the crewmen, she hadn't yet noticed Tom and Harry glancing at them which was part of the reason her 'jailbreak' was taking so long. At one point Harry leant towards Tom and whispered "Captain Proton fearlessly approached the twin peaks of power..."

"Shut up Harry!" Tom hissed back, a bead of sweat forming on his forehead as he threw a worried glance in the direction of his Captains face which he couldn't quite see because her breasts were in the way.

It was then that his hand slipped from the wire and touched the chastity belt. Immediately something electrical resisted his touch and his hand was thrown back a bit, mostly by his own surprise.

Tom and Harry (who had witnessed the event) took a step back in fear and raised their hands to their throats protectively. "What was *that*?" they exclaimed together.

Kathryn tried to lean up from her position on the table but her new breasts were making her too top-heavy. "Chakotay, could you give me a hand?"

"I'd need four with breasts that large."

The death glare nearly reduced him to ashes. "Ha ha. Help me sit up. *Now* Mister."

There was no messing with a Janeway with a glare set on 'chargrilled'. Instantly he reached her side and helped pull her up, and although it took a bit of huffing and puffing it was never quite clear which of them was making the most noise.

Eventually her chest was facing towards the wall, not the ceiling, and as she wiped a sweat-soaked hair from her face, she gasped to Chakotay "Mental note; have my breasts removed after this fiasco is over. They're more trouble than they're worth."

The first officer filed that mental note under 'D' for 'damn'.

After he nodded, she turned back to her helmsman and operations officer. Her operations officer still had his hand raised to his throat in horror, but Tom looked like he on his way to making a cross with the index fingers of both hands. She had some explaining to do.

"It's a...forcefield."

Oh heck, she couldn't feel any more embarrassed than she already did.

The muscles in their shoulders became a little less tense, their eyes a little less wide. They leant forward slightly but still kept an 'able to run the hell out of there in time' distance. Tom raised one eyebrow suspiciously. "What for?"

She would *not* cough. She would state it matter-of-factly. "So that something can pass out but nothing can get in."

It took a few moments for the information to sink in and she knew the exact moment that it hit them. In unison their shoulder sagged completely "Ohhhh..." and then both their noses screwed up in disgust. "Eww."

"Thank you for your polite words gentlemen. To preserve whatever modesty I still have left, you can see that the forcefield has fortunately been programmed in a grey colour which is why most of the time you can't see it."

Frowning, they bent down and moved closer to inspect the chastity belt. Tom tapped the end of the wire he still held in his right hand on the side of his face. "She's right Harry. You can't even tell anything's there."

Chakotay moved to stand behind them, staring at it just as intently.

Harry pondered Tom's words and agreed. "But how did they make it a grey colour? I've never seen one that particular shade."

"Well," Chakotay offered "it is made of some of the most sophisticated and top secret materials Starfleet knew about. It could be that they had access to more information on forcefield colourisation than we do. In fact, that's almost guaranteed."

"Oh absolutely," Tom replied, testing the forcefield again with the end of the wire "but how did they change the forcefield harmonics to bring about that-"

"Look!" Janeway butted in, causing all of them to look up at her face now that they could see it. "You can discuss the colour choices for my chastity belts forcefield at a later time. Just get me out of it!"

Tom stood, sighing. "I'm sorry Captain, but I don't think there's anything I can do. The lock is just too complicated, even for me. I recommend you let B'Elanna have a crack at it - you never know what she'll come up with." Bending back down, he studied the belt once more with Harry and Chakotay doing the same. "It really is the most amazing piece of equipment I've ever seen..."

That was when the door to the briefing room opened.

Chastity Katie, Part 3 - Little Nanoprobes On The Chastity

*

The occupants of the room were more stunned by the person who walked in than she was by the sight that greeted her. For in walked Seven of Nine, her breasts of an average size.

Tom and Harry were too shocked to say anything and continued gawking at her from their bent-over position in front of the Captains chastity belt. Chakotay and Janeway already knew, so they weren't fazed much at all.

Either not acknowledging or not noticing their fascination with her chest, Seven studied them with her usual detached expression despite the fact that Captain Janeway was sitting on the edge of the briefing room table with three senior officers staring at her crotch.

Nodding slightly in greeting, Seven took this all in her stride. "I did not intend to disrupt your sexual activities. I will return later with my report."

Turning back towards the exit with the padd still clasped tightly in her hand, she only stopped when the Captain yelled her name. "Wait, Seven! This isn't what you think!"

Seven looked back at them, eyebrows raised ever-so-slightly. "Indeed?"

With Chakotay's help, Janeway started to get off the table. But something stood in her way. "You're going to have to move Mr Paris."

Blinking, coming out of his near-hypnotic fascination with Seven's breasts, Tom stood and apologised. "Oh. I'm...sorry Captain. Come on Harry, let's go."

Harry said nothing. Did nothing. Didn't move. His eyes were still locked onto Seven's chest. "Uh...Harry?" Tom asked, but the ensign didn't respond. The conn officer tried tapping him on the shoulder, arm, leg, still nothing. "Umm, Chakotay, can I have a hand here?"

Releasing his hold on his much-beloved Kathryn, Chakotay moved over to help Tom. Each grabbing a different leg, they clumsily 'walked' Harry away from between Janeway's legs. The only part of his body that moved by itself was his head, which stayed on 'swivel' mode so he could keep looking at the ex-Borg.

Thanking them, Janeway hopped off the table and her feet landed softly on the carpet (although not as softly as they used to, considering the size of her breasts). Pulling her robe fully closed she faked a smile at Seven. "You see, I have a little problem I'm trying to get out of..."

Seven nodded. "Yes, I noticed the restraint." She did not seem surprised.

"You know what it is?"

She tilted her head, placing her hands behind her back. "The Borg have encountered similar artifacts in many cultures. Through assimilation we became aware of their function."

Kathryn smiled genuinely. "Well, I suppose I should be thankful. You just saved me another embarrassing explanation."

"Indeed Captain. And may I ask what Ensign Kim finds so fascinating? He has spent the last 4.7 minutes staring at me."

So, she had finally noticed.

Attempting to speak delicately because of the subject, Kathryn lowered her voice slightly. "Ah, I think he's surprised by your breasts."

Opening her mouth to ask "Why?", the word never emerged as Seven looked down at her chest. A different word emerged instead. "Intriguing."

"What is?" Tom asked.

Her head was still lowered. "I am unnaccustomed to looking towards the floor and being able to see my shoes. It appears that the size of my breasts has been reduced by 53%."

"You've only just noticed?!" Chakotay exclaimed, determined to get a line in somewhere.

She looked back up. "The size of my breasts is not relevant to my duties aboard Voyager; they are not something I pay particular attention to. Although this does explain the stress differential along my spinal cord. I had intended to visit the Doctor after I handed you my report, but now I believe the visit is unnecessary."

Everyone, sans Harry, nodded in agreement.

An idea sprung into Chakotay's head. "Hey Kathryn, maybe Seven can help you get out of your chastity belt."

*

At Seven's suggestion they moved to the science lab (although the only way Harry would move was if his eyes were kept in a constant direct line-of-sight with Seven's chest. So, no change from normal then). As Kathryn got up on the specially prepared biobed (again with Chakotay's help), Seven explained her plan.

"Once a few changes have been made to my nanoprobes, I will attach my assimilation tubules to the device where the nanoprobes will hopefully be able to find a way to activate the unlocking mechanism."

Tom and Chakotay listened with interest. Harry continued looking at her chest.

Kathryn spoke, not liking the idea. "Are you sure the nanoprobes will be no threat to me?"

"Quite sure Captain. May I have your permission to proceed?"

Hesitating very briefly, Kathryn then agreed. "Go ahead."

Stepping closer, Seven flicked a tiny switch on the Borg technology that covered her hand. "I am ready to begin."

Almost everyone blinked. Tom spoke. "That was quick!"

Seven extended her hand towards the chastity belt, and the tubules began to emerge. "I merely switched my Borg systems from 'assimilate' to 'investigate'."

The tubules grabbed onto the belt almost hungrily, the nanoprobes spurting out onto the metal surface.

Janeway nearly shouted. "You can do that?! Thanks a lot for telling us!"

Seven looked down at her. "You did not ask."

"Oh well that makes it perfectly alright," Chakotay muttered, watching as the tubules disengaged themselves from their target and retracted back into Seven's hand.

Picking up a tricorder, Seven scanned the chastity belt and began pressing buttons. Aware that someone was standing directly behind her, she frowned faintly. "Ensign Paris, looking over my shoulder will not expedite the speed with which the results are displayed on the tricorder."

"True," he admitted "but I get a different view of your 'real' breasts from here."

"Why do you have this purile fascination with my breasts? They are simply a part of the reproductive process."

Chakotay grinned, glancing down at Kathryn. "I think you answered your own question there, Seven."

The tricorder began to bleep and Seven read out the results. "I am able to track the nanoprobes movements. Most of them are converging in one location. I believe they have just found-" quickly cutting off her sentence, she grabbed the edge of the Captains robe and pulled it down just as a 'fzzt' noise was heard.

Chakotay and Tom frowned. "What was that?"

Kathryn reddened. "I think I know..."

Seven saved her the trouble. "The nanoprobes found their way to the forcefield controls. I thought it best to preserve the Captains modesty."

"Ahhh...." the two men responded, before starting to redden themselves.

Another 'fzzt' noise was heard and Seven continued her scans. "They have re-activated the forcefield."

Sighs of relief echoed around the room.

Thirty minutes later the nanoprobes didn't seem to be any closer to their goal. So far they had made the chastity belt glow, vibrate (which Kathryn hadn't been eager to stop anytime soon) and play a midi version of 'Yankee Doodle Dandy', but no sign of unlocking the damn thing.

Kathryn's patience was not at a high commodity when they started, now it was desperately lacking. "Okay, this obviously isn't working! We'll go with Tom's suggestion and ask B'Elanna next."

Re-absorbing the nanoprobes via her tubules, Seven then flicked the switch back.

"But first..." Kathryn continued "gentlemen, could you wait outside for us for a few minutes please?" She couldn't stand it anymore; she had to take her breasts off and give them back to Seven.

"Certainly," Chakotay replied, and he and Tom pushed Harry out of the room once more.

Tom caught the beginning of the Captains conversation with Seven. "Now Seven, I want you to give me a hand with these breasts..."

"Strange," he told Chakotay "I didn't think the Captain was in to that kind of thing."

Before Chakotay could respond, Harry did something. Cut off from his view of Seven's breasts, he spoke.

"Breasts."

Tom grabbed his friends shoulders. "Harry?"

The ensign didn't even notice, staring right through him. "They're...gone." He clutched at his own chest. "The agony, the agony...how?!"

Chakotay spoke up. "Actually, the Captain took them."

His words seemed to permeate the fuzz in Harry's brain and his head cleared. "Captain? The Captain has Seven's breasts? I didn't think she was in to that kind of thing..."

"*That's* what I said," Tom informed him.

"Look, she's not!" Chakotay insisted just as the doors opened and Kathryn and Seven emerged, both with their hair mussed and looking out of breath. Seven's breasts were back on her own chest. Harry sighed in relief. All was right with the world.

"Woo!" Kathryn told him. "Those breasts are bigger than they look!"

She and Seven then turned around and proceeded towards engineering.

Chakotay watched them leave before looking back at Tom and Harry. "Really, she's not!"

"Sure Chakotay," Tom insisted. "You keep telling yourself that. Meanwhile, Harry and I are going to watch what happens in that turbolift!"

And with that he and his friend ran after the Captain and the ex-Borg.

Chastity Katie, Part 4 - Recalibrating Chastity

*

Unfortunately Tom and Harry didn't get to witness anything between the Captain and Seven. No small looks, no sly smiles. Well they wouldn't expect a smile from Seven anyway; perhaps just an inquisitive look in the captains direction.

Nada.

Pouting, they crossed their arms across their chests in boredom and waited for the turbolift journey to end. Soon they arrived at deck eleven and they all stepped out and walked around the corner to engineering. Just as the double doors whoosed open and they could see the warp core Chakotay caught up with them. All five proceeded towards B'Elanna, who was in the middle of some very loud swearing.

(for reasons of taste the following words have been carefully edited)

B'Elanna thumped a console that apparently wasn't being cooperative. "Come on you f-luff-ing console! Work you b-aste-d!"

"Basted what?" Seven asked carefully.

Growling, B'Elanna turned to face her. "What the F-LUFF are-Captain!" Her tirade came to an abrupt end. "I...didn't know you were there. Or Tom. Or Chakotay. Or Harry. Or Seven for that matter until she spoke." Removing her fingers from the console, not noticing the dents she had left behind, she attempted to smile. Rather poorly. "How can I help you?" she asked in her best 'patronising telephone receptionist' voice.

Janeway stepped forward. "Actually, it's kind of personal. Can we discuss it privately B'Elanna?"

Leaning to one side, B'Elanna looked over the Captains shoulder to study the others who had entered the room with her.

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay. We'll discuss it privately between the six of us."

"Sure," the half-Klingon agreed before yelling "anyone on the upper level move your as-p down here right now!! That's a f-luff-ing order!"

Loud noises and foodsteps echoed through the large room as those on the upper level scrambled to be the first to reach the ladder and lift. Two crewmembers were injured in the process but they had no lines so were simply thrown in the corner with the corpses from the last attack that no one had bothered to move yet.

Kathryn and B'Elanna shared the small lift to the upper level, while the others had to climb. Harry nearly punched Chakotay out of the way in his rush to be the one to climb up the ladder directly behind Seven.

They assembled together again, each leaning a part of their body against the small bar that surrounded the warp core.

"So what is it?" B'Elanna demanded.

With little hesitation now, Kathryn grabbed the edge of her robe and pulled it up to waist height.

B'Elanna stared down at the chastity belt, stunned.

"F-luff me."

"Well if you insist," Tom smirked, trying to find pockets on his uniform that might contain lint.

Ignoring him, B'Elanna walked towards a small storage area built into the wall and returned with a tricorder. Kneeling down, she began to scan the chastity belt as Janeway informed her of their already many failed attempts. She nodded as she listened. "I'm not surprised Tom wasn't able to pick it. This certainly isn't your average tumbler lock. I've never seen anything quite like it. And you're saying the Federation made this?"

Everyone shrugged. Harry's eyes followed the movement of Seven's breasts.

"We're not sure," Kathryn admitted "a Federation citizen put it on me, but he had access to all kinds of things. I've always presumed it was a Federation design but I suppose it could just as easily be alien."

Agreeing, B'Elanna then asked the Captain to lie down. "I'm going to try magnetising specific sections of the belt. If it works it should unlock itself."

It sounded just as good - if not better - than any plan Kathryn had heard so far, so she merrily lowered herself to the floor and stretched out. Chakotay, Tom, Harry and Seven looked down at her as B'Elanna rummaged around in the corner for equipment.

The men started laughing and Kathryn began feeling decidedly paranoid. They couldn't *still* find the image of her with her robe hiked up to her waist amusing, could they? "What? What is it?"

It was then that she heard the chuckles coming from the lower level.

Chakotay's grin grew wider. "You might want to move Kathryn. You're lying on the clear section of the floor, so..."

Her eyes grew wide. Tom continued what Chakotay couldn't.

"...they can see your butt cheeks pushing against the surface."

The three men lost it completely then and started laughing in earnest, leaning on each other to stop from falling over. Except for Harry, obviously, who leant on...

"Ensign Kim!"

"Woah!! I'm sorry Seven! I did *not* intend to put my hand there!"

Everyone in engineering stopped what they were doing to look across or up at him. "Uh huh," resonated through the room. Leaning over the railing he shouted down "Don't you people have work to do?!"

"Not when we can see the captains butt cheeks!" someone yelled back as Kathryn quickly scurried from the surface until she was lying on the carpet.

Her audience moaned. "Aww..."

B'Elanna stomped across to the railing, the whole room shaking.

Chakotay looked at Harry. "Are we being fired on?"

The engineer reached her target and bellowed. "Get back to work NOW!! That's another F-LUFF-ING ORDER!!"

Three people lost their sense of hearing. The rest of them got to work.

Turning back to look down at the Captain with a smile on her face, B'Elanna sat down beside her. Everyone else followed her example and soon Kathryn was surrounded by a circle of her staff.

Chakotay cleared his throat. "You know, this reminds me of a story my father-"

"Shut up."

"Yes Ma'am."

Nodding, Janeway looked at B'Elanna. "Proceed."

In her hand she held four small metal devices with blinking lights (incidentally, the lights had no function whatsoever, it just happened that the creator over-ordered his LED stock and had to use them up) which she attached to different locations on the chastity belt. "Now, when I activate these you might feel a slight pull on your abdomen because the magnetic fields will be in contact with each other. Don't worry; these are strong magnetic devices but they won't cause any harm." Leaning forward, she activated them.

Immediately Janeway felt the pressure B'Elanna warned her about, but it wasn't painful. Perhaps a little uncomfortable because the magnetic fields seemed to be pressing on her bladder, but other than that it was quite relaxing. Almost like a massage-

Something pinged.

Harry frowned. "What was that?"

B'Elanna discreetly hid her tricorder readings.

"Oh good God..." Kathryn muttered.

"What is it?" Chakotay queried, worried.

Well, what was the point in hiding it? If her assumption was correct anyway... "My IUD."

Only a few of them knew what it meant. Seven didn't. "I do not understand the term 'IUD' Captain. Could you enlighten me?"

Kathryn sighed. "It stands for 'intra-uterine device'."

Seven caught on immediately. "A contraceptive method?"

Kathryn poked her finger at the ex-Borg. "Got it in one."

Tom tried not to snicker, but couldn't help it. Janeway and B'Elanna glared at him.

"But never mind about that now," the Captain insisted "is the magnetism working?"

Returning her gaze to her tricorder, B'Elanna examined the readings. "There's definitely some kind of movement going on but to be honest it's still madness trying to make sense of everything that's going in on there." Frowning, she pounded her fingers on the tricorder. "I think there's a redundant locking mechanism that I couldn't read before. This damn thing has some kind of cloaking device! Who, in the name of Kahless, invented this thing?!"

"We'll have to try something else. Now's not the time for revenge B'Elanna."

The engineer was shocked. "Revenge?! I'd like to shake their hand. I've never seen anything this small that's been so brilliantly constructed. Whoever built it is a f-luff-ing genius!"

Harry leant towards Tom and whispered "What's this 'fluff' obsession B'Elanna's got going on?"

The helmsman shrugged. "When I left this morning she had a mouth like a sewer, same as normal."

Chakotay butted in. "I think the censors are at it again. You know just a minute ago when the engineering staff were seeing Kathryn's butt?"

"Yeah?"

"That wasn't actually hers. It was a digitised butt."

"You're kidding!"

"The honest truth. Trust me, TPTB are famous for it..."

As they talked, the rest of the group stood. It was decided they'd visit the Doctor next. Not only might he have a suggestion for how to get the Captain free, but everyone felt it was best that he take a look at her IUD.

Making their way back down to the lower level once more, B'Elanna then informed her staff that they were free to return up there if necessary.

As the six of them walked towards the exit, B'Elanna tripped over a leg that was lying on the floor. "And someone get rid of these f-luff-ing corpses, once and for all! They're starting to f-luff-ing stink!!"

Harry shook his head in shame. "We have *got* to have a word with Brannon..."

Chastity Katie, Part 5 -
Down At The Doc's

*

"Please state the nature of the medical emerg..." the rest of his habitual greeting faded into oblivion as the EMH saw who was present in sickbay. Seven of Nine, four members of the senior staff (in uniform), and the Captain (in a robe that was a colour that was *totally* out of season. He thought it best to mention that right now).

Being the most senior crewmember there, as well as standing in front of the others, the Doctor quickly decided that that the Captain was the person he should speak directly to. "Captain? Is there some kind of meeting going on that I wasn't informed about?" It wouldn't be the first time he had been left out of something important, but he thought they would have remembered to include him by now.

"Not exactly," she told him "I have a couple of problems that I'm hoping you can help me with."

"Medical problems?"

She nodded.

He barely refrained from tutting. "Then may I ask why the others are here? Surely your medical problems don't require the presence of a majority of the senior crew."

Tom piped up. "Well no, they don't. But we kind of all grouped together and stayed that way. Right guys?"

"Uh hu."

"You got it."

"Yup."

"He's right."

"The ensign is correct."

Everyone nodded in unison. The Doctor wondered if they choreographed it or if it was just coincidence. Brushing aside that thought, he set about his duties. "Well then Captain, how may I help you?"

Getting up on the biobed without the Doctor even telling her to - which was something of a surprise in itself - she told him about the possible damage to the IUD.

He was quite shocked. "Are you sure you want the others to be here while I scan you?"

By now they had all clustered around the biobed, once again surrounding her as they had done earlier in engineering. Everyone watched with a curious fascination.

"It's okay Doctor; they know about the chastity belt."

"Ah, I see," he replied, thinking no more of it and picking up a tricorder from the med tray. He didn't notice at first that everyone had stopped looking at the Captain and were now staring at him until he opened the tricorder and began to scan her. "What?"

They replied together. In different tones, voices, levels of emotion, but the words were the same:

"You knew?!"

"Of *course* I knew," he answered, pausing mid-way through his scans "it's not the kind of thing she can hide when she has her yearly physical. Zimmerman knew she tried though, that first year. She devised every excuse imaginable to get out of it. At first I thought it was just the stubborn Captain role she's come to play - they're notorious for hating physicals. But as it turned out, she had a somewhat valid reason for not wanting to be scanned."

Two thumps interrupted his story.

Seven's breasts had just fallen out of her outfit.

The two thumps were shortly followed by another one as Harry passed out.

The EMH sighed. "You removed your breasts earlier, didn't you? I warned you what effect that might have."

"You are incorrect Doctor," Seven informed him. "I did not remove my breasts." She paused. "The Captain removed them while I was regenerating."

"And I don't suppose the Captain would care to tell me why she did that?" Moving next to Seven by stepping over Harry, he began to scan her and then the breasts which lay on the floor.

"No," Kathryn answered "the Captain would not care to tell you."

"I didn't think so," he quipped, pressing more buttons as he knelt down next to both mounds. Sighing heavily at the readings, he closed the tricorder. "As predicted, because they've now been in contact with a human body, the breasts have been rejected by your Borg systems and are starting to degrade. I can repair them but it will take a while, and until then they'll have to be transplated onto a completely human body to stop the degredation. Question is, who's going to volunteer?"

Tilting their heads together, everyone looked at the still-unconscious Harry Kim.

Chakotay spoke. "Well..."

Paris grinned. "It'd be a dream come true!"

B'Elanna rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. "For who?"

"Harry, obviously!" Tom smirked.

"It's not as if he can argue with the decision," Kathryn volunteered, mostly because she certainly didn't want to wear them again.

"Yes Captain, but he cannot agree with the decision either," Seven pointed out.

The Doctor interrupted them. "Whatever we have to do we have to do it *now*, before I lose both of them! They're degrading at an amazing rate."

"Very well Doctor, proceed."

*

Harry's operation now complete, the Doctor resumed working on the Captain. As it turned out there was no damage to the IUD that would affect its function at all. It was when she asked for ideas for how to remove the chastity belt that his eyebrows rose. He'd had some time to think about it of course; since he had discovered the belt's existance he'd presumed that one day she would want help removing it. This meant he'd had quite some time to think of ideas that might free her.

"I think we should cut you out."

"You mean you have something that will cut through this material?"

He laughed delightfully. "No, no Captain. You misunderstand. I think we should cut *you* out. I should probably be able to reconstruct you with a minimum of fuss afterwards."

Sitting on the edge of the biobed, Kathryn recoiled from him in horror. The others present and still conscious did the same.

"Are you seriously suggesting that you cut me into several pieces?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Admittedly, it does contain some degree of risk. But we have much more advanced medical techniques now, mainly thanks to our contact with the Vidiians, not to mention the large medical database Seven provided us with."

"I don't care! You are not cutting me in half!"

"Aww come on Captain," Tom tried to woo her "we could charge admission!"

Chakotay's voice held a strong note of warning. "Tom..."

"Not choice about it," B'Elanna offered "we'll have to try something else."

"I concur," Seven agreed, surprising the engineer "cutting the Captain in half will minimise our efficiency."

It was then that Harry groaned.

Chastity Katie, Part 6 -
Conversations Of The Plomeek Kind

*

He felt...different. Yes, yes that was the best way to phrase it. He couldn't quite place the sensations because it didn't seem familiar. Besides, he had just woken up. He was groggy.

Blinking his eyelids slowly open, they suddenly widened as he saw Doc's face. The hologram was about one inch away from his own face, frowning.

"How do you feel ensign?"

He tried to speak through the imagined cotton balls in his mouth. "Different."

Tom's voice travelled to him from the end of the biobed. "I bet you do."

"What do you mean?" He tried to get up so the Doctor moved. Then he saw them. They towered before him like two harbingers of death of destruction. Nothing could have surprised him more.

Ensign Harry Kim of the USS Voyager was now the owner of Seven of Nine's breasts.

And they were a *part* of him. They weren't simply held in place with a bra. They had been surgically attached. Why? Tears started filling his eyes.

Despite the fact that his new breasts were weighing him down, he managed to pull himself up into a sitting position and glared at the people who surrounded him. "What have you *done* to me?!"

The Doctor began fingering the sedative hypospray he was hiding behind his back.

Kathryn reached out and touched Harry's arm, comforting. "I'm sorry Harry, but there was no other choice. Seven's breasts fell out and they needed to be implanted onto someone else before they degraded completely. We all know how...fond you are of her breasts. We thought you'd appreciate it."

"But you didn't even ask?!" he wailed, looking down the top of his medical gown. "They're not even the same colour!"

As Kathryn reassured Harry that the Doctor could change the pigmentation, Chakotay spoke to the Doctor. "Why is he getting so emotional?"

"Well, to ensure that the breasts wouldn't be rejected I've had to give him a few injections of estrogen. It's causing a huge change on his biological systems which is bound to result in out of character behaviour. At least until his body adapts, anyway."

B'Elanna butted in. "Is it okay for him to leave sickbay?"

The Doctor sighed. "I'd prefer that he didn't, but if he must someone should observe him at all times. Where are you going now?"

B'Elanna looked at the Captain. They both shrugged and spoke at the same time. "Tuvok."

"Excellent. Then I will accompany you."

No one objected, and as Seven helped Harry down from the biobed with a curious examination of his chest, he snapped "What are you looking at?"

"I have not seen my breasts from this perspective before. I believe I understand now why many of the crew find them so interesting."

"Well stop looking at them!"

"I am confused, ensign. You are clearly attracted to me and have spent a great portion of your time when we are together looking at my chest. Now that you have my breasts in your possession you are angry at me."

Tom had an idea. "Maybe it's his time of month..."

"Thomas Eugene Paris!! That was an incredibly sexist remark!"

"Ow, B'Elanna! Let go of my ear! I didn't *mean* it..."

*

Getting them all into the turbolift was no easy matter. Eventually B'Elanna came up with the idea of taking the Doctor's mobile emitter offline until their short journey was complete. The hologram wasn't happy but allowed them to proceed. As Chakotay stumbled in he accidentally bumped into Harry's breasts.

"Oh! Sorry Seven...umm...Harry!"

Everyone chuckled. Harry pouted. Sighing, Kathryn hugged him and ordered the turbolift to take them to Tuvok's office.

*

His shift having just ended, Lieutenant Commander Tuvok approached the replicator in his office and ordered a bowl of traditional plomeek soup. A bowl without the 'improvements' Mr Neelix always insisted on adding.

Materialisation complete, he picked up the bowl and placed it carefully on his desk. Sitting down, he picked up the spoon handle extending from the soup and brought a spoon-full up to his lips.

Someone beeped for entry.

Placing the spoon back down in the bowl, he called for whoever it was to enter. The entire senior staff (thankfully sans Mr Neelix) walked in, oddly enough in order of height. The Captain, being the shortest, walked in first and the others soon joined her, one by one.

Merely watching as they stood next to each other in front of him, he rested his hands on his desk, index fingers pressing together. It was only when he saw Seven of Nine and Ensign Kim that he rose an eyebrow. Still, such matters were not related to how well they worked, and until that changed he would not enquire.

Janeway spoke. "I need your help Tuvok."

"I see. May I enquire as to what for?"

Grabbing the edge of the robe, she pulled it up. The others in the room did not react. Tuvok's other eyebrow rose, and he supposed it was fortunate that he was not currently experiencing Pon Farr.

Chakotay knelt and pointed to the device. "She wants this," he whisked his arms towards the other end of the room "off."

"I...see. And how do you believe I may able to help?"

The Captain looked up and down the line of people to see if anyone had any suggestions. They simply shook their heads or shrugged.

"Doesn't look like we have any ideas Tuvok. We were simply hoping you could think up something...logical."

"What other methods have you attempted?"

They all started speaking then, until Tom placed two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly. That shut them up. "Thank you," he said, before turning to Tuvok and explaining each of the methods so far.

The Vulcan sat in silence for a few moments, meditating over the ensign's statements.

The others started to get impatient.

Harry spoke. "That soup looks good."

No one answered.

"If you keep leaving it there it will go cold."

"Harry," B'Elanna told him "he can always put that back in the replicator and order another one."

"Thanks a *lot* B'Elanna," he hissed, hating the way his new breasts made him tilt forward. His back was starting to ache.

"If ensign Kim requires the soup that badly then he may have it." Touching the side of the bowl, Tuvok gently pushed it forward.

The human's eyes lit up. "Really?" Waiting for no response nor really wanting one, he moved forward and grabbed the spoon. As he started lapping up the soup excitedly, the others turned away in disgust.

"That's gross..."

"He doesn't usually eat like that."

"You are correct."

"It is simply another effect of the estrogen injections. As his body adjusts he is going to go through changes in his eating habits to help suppliment his new requirements."

They stopped talking as Harry began making strange noises. Quickly surrounding him they asked if he was alright, voices filled with concern.

That was when it happened.

That was when he sneezed. Right into the soup bowl.

Chastity Katie, Part 7 -
Soup, Screams And Nostrils

*

Tuvok's face and Harry's breasts took the brunt of the impact, but the others in the room were splattered too due to their close proximity to Harry. The only one unaffected was the Doctor who looked on in amusement.

They all blinked. No one spoke.

Until...

...a timid, meek voice...

...whispered...

"...sorry..."

...before retreating back into embarrassment while trying to wipe the orange soup from his extremely tight-fitting uniform top.

They studied each other closely. Most of them had gotten off pretty lightly, but Tuvok...he merely remained seated in his chair, soup continuing to dribble from his chin.

Tom snorted.

Seven heads turned to watch him as he quickly turned away, shoulders shaking, causing soup to drip from his hair.

It was then that Kathryn Janeway decided she hated Starfleet offices. They didn't come equipped with personal bathrooms. Too bad they weren't in her ready room...

"Whose quarters are closest to here?"

It was discovered that B'Elanna's were the closest so the Captain informed them that they'd all make their way there to get cleaned up. She knew they could use the transporters, but Ayala was on bridge duty at the moment and there was no way he'd fail to notice eight people making an un-scheduled transport from Tuvok's office into B'Elanna's quarters.

The Doctor volunteered to be the scout - "after all, I'm the only one who's ship-shape and Bristol-fashion" (a reference which none of them got) - and go on ahead to warn them of any impending visitors they might encounter in the corridor.

Approaching the exit, he peeked around the edge of the doors as they whoosed open. "All clear," he called.

"Okay, everyone out in single file," Janeway ordered, and because she was the Captain made sure she was in the middle so she had the best chances of not being seen should they be spotted.

Obligingly (and most of them giggling), they left the room, each of them holding the hand of the person in front and the person behind of them. Kathryn told them it was so they "wouldn't lose anyone", but Tom had his own theory as he watched the Captain grab Chakotay's hand so quickly that something popped.

"Ow..."

"Sorry..."

"I think you dislocated my thumb."

Stalking ahead, the Doctor walked on tiptoe, peering around every corner, intersection and doorway he came across.

Tom was getting a little annoyed. "Doc...not to question your methods...but don't you think you're being a little obvious?"

The EMH harrumped loudly and stopped his tiptoeing just long enough to send a sarcastic look in their direction. "Well if *I'm* being obvious, what are you?"

B'Elanna squeezed Tom's hand. "He's got a point."

Stopping his tiptoeing the Doctor quickly held out his hand towards them and leaned towards the direction they were walking. "Shh! I think...yes! Incoming!"

Loudly trundling back to the intersection they had recently passed and still holding hands, they hid around the corner. Leaning against the wall each of them moved their heads to the left in quick succession as if it would somehow make them less noticable.

The Doc, being the Doc, stayed where he was and greeted the newcomer who had yet to reach the intersection. "Ah, hello Ms Nicoletti!" He spoke far too loudly, trying to provide his friends with the details.

Chakotay tutted softly.

Seven, who was on the other side to him, frowned. She had never made that noise before, but it seemed to be a constant through all species and cultures. Perhaps she should attempt it.

The first officer frowned as Seven started making strange noises. Moving his head minutely, he studied her out of the corner of his eye. "What are you doing?" he whispered.

Opening her mouth she planned on using her usual tone then remembered their requirement for secrecy. Lowering her voice appropriately, she proceeded. "I believe it is called 'tutting'."

That confused him. "And why are you practising this now?"

"Because I have not practised it before."

Harry, who was on *her* other side, muttered "Oh well that explains *everything*..."

"Can we please keep quiet?" the Captain hissed, and everyone shut up although Tom nearly snorted again from trying to contain his laughter. He soon kept quiet as B'Elanna increased the pressure on his hand to a death grip. His hand started going white, then turned red.

Doc's voice was getting louder and they pushed themselves as hard against the wall as they could. Tuvok didn't notice the door behind him which, of course, swished open. With nothing to rest against he fell backwards, unintentionally pulling everyone with him.

Trying desperately not to yell out in surprise or pain, only those closest to him - Kathryn and Tom - fell over, but the others were pulled along by the sudden displacement of weight. Soon they also lost their balance and before long no one was left standing.

Harry and B'Elanna, being the two who had landed at the top of the pile, lifted their heads to see Naomi in the transporter room, clearly up to something she shouldn't be.

Naomi was part-way through walking to the transporter pad with a piece of equipment in her hands. When she saw the sight before her - seven of the most senior members of the crew covered in orange goo and apparently having an orgy in the doorway - she did the only thing a little girl could.

Opening her mouth-

-nothing emerged as Harry reached her and covered her mouth with his hand just before the scream would have escaped.

The Captains robe had somehow worked its way up so most of her body was uncovered. As people moved from on top of her she quickly yanked it down so she could finally see what was going on.

That was when the Doctor appeared, stepping over Kathryn and Chakotay who were the last ones left on the floor. Even Tuvok had squirmed his way out from under them.

"You're very lucky," the EMH announced "Ms Nicoletti didn't suspect a thing." He frowned when he noticed the mumbles coming from behing Harry's hand. "I believe you can remove your hand now, Mr Kim."

Harry shrugged and moved his hand.

Naomi's litany continued unabated. "-and ohmigod Harry has boobs and where have Seven's gone and ohmigod the captain's naked except for some weird device and you're all melting melting melt-"

Harry replaced his hand.

"For fu-dge's sake," B'Elanna quickly caught herself "we're not melting, Naomi! This is soup."

The mumbles ceased. "Id iff?" she asked.

"Yeff, I mean yes."

Neelix appeared in the doorway. "Oh hello everyone! What a surprise to see-ensign Kim!! What have you done to your chest? And *what* are you doing to Naomi?" he yelled accusingly.

Kathryn looked at Chakotay.

Chakotay looked at Kathryn.

They remained on the floor, figuring things looked better from down there.

They changed their minds when Neelix stepped over them and they got a good view up his nostrils.

Chastity Katie, Part 8 -
Whoops

*

It took some time to convince Neelix that Harry wasn't taking advantage of Naomi, and in the interim the Talaxian proceeded to chase the human around the transporter room. Harry - who was beginning to understand just *why* bra's were a neccesity - quickly released Naomi who instantly began babbling again until Kathryn caught her and placed her hand over the girls mouth.

The group of observers who watched the escapade carefully moved up onto the transporter pad partially to stay out of the way, but mostly to get a good view of the action. Kathryn, Naomi and the Doctor remained by the door.

Tom started chanting. "Neelix! Neelix!"

Seven frowned. She found that odd behaviour since Ensigns' Paris and Kim had stated on several occasions that they were best friends. She was about to ask Commander Chakotay why Ensign Paris would behave in such a manner when a possible solution presented itself. Of course. The ensign was participating in an attempt at humour. She had been informed on several occasions - particularly by Lieutenant Torres - that she should try to explore her own sense of humour. This seemed as good a time as any.

Raising her arm and punching her fist in the air much the same way as Ensign Paris, she began speaking. "Ensign Kim, Ensign Kim."

Fortunately Harry didn't seem to notice, or he no doubt would have lost his concentration and been unable to avoid Neelix's tackle as they leapt by the isolinear relays they were using instead of bio-neural gel packs in the transporter room.

Everyone else stared at the ex-Borg for a few moments before deciding that it really wasn't that bad an idea...

Soon they had broken into two factions. Well, three actually. One was rooting for Harry, one was rooting for Neelix, and the third faction - which consisted of a single crewmember - thought the whole concept was illogical.

B'Elanna called him a spoilsport and continued shouting.

It was then that Harry noticed, the combined voices of everyone else in the room (apart from Naomi who was still muffled) finally reaching his ears and breaking through his concentration.

"Wha-?" he asked, just as he jumped up behind the console. The distraction was enough. The Talaxian leapt masterfully and grabbed onto Harry's waist. Yelling out in surprise the ensign began to fall and desperate not to fall completely, he did the only thing he could. He threw out his hands to brace himself on the console.

And accidentally pressed some very specific buttons.

The crewmembers on the transporter pad began to dematerialise.

Naomi's mumbling stopped as she stared, wide eyed.

Kathryn gasped.

The Doctor grinned.

Neelix grinned cheesily.

Harry swore.

Pulling himself away from Neelix who seemed to have briefly forgotten his ill-measured vendetta, Harry ran his fingers over the transporter console.

"Where are they being transported?" Kathryn demanded, walking towards the pad.

"An unnoccupied turbolift on deck two." It could be worse, he thought..they could- "Oh no."

"What?" Neelix asked, looking over his shoulder.

Harry said nothing, merely looking back at the transporter pad. Kathryn, Neelix, the Doctor and Naomi followed his gaze and echoed his words and sentiment.

Because although all of them had been transported - Chakotay, Tom, B'Elanna, Tuvok, Seven - it was quite obvious that their clothes hadn't been.

Chastity Katie, Part 9 -
Chests, Breasts, And A Turbolift Incident

*

Five people in a turbolift was cramped at the best of times. When all five of them were naked the space suddenly seemed to be smaller than the lines anyone other than the bridge crew got to utter.

All of them remained absolutely silent, not entirely sure how to get out of there without embarrassing themselves which really was kind of pointless. They were way past being embarrassed. Except for Seven, of course. She stood proudly, knowing that her body was in excellent physical condition while the others cowered away from each other.

Realising that no one else was going to say anything, Seven spoke. "I suggest we depart from the turbolift and find a location where we can replicate new clothing."

Chakotay kept his gaze fixed firmly on his feet. He would not look at Seven. He would *not*. Think of something else, yes, yes, think of Kathryn....oh that's not a good idea when you're naked.

Luckily he was on the outside of the group so he turned until he was facing the wall of the turbolift. "That's a very good idea Seven. Let's see if we can access those transporters."

*

Kathryn stood on the transporter pad with Neelix, picking up everyone's clothes. Her eyebrows rose when she saw what kind of underwear Tom wore. Turning back to Harry, she ordered him to beam them back.

He frowned, manipulating the controls. "I don't think I can Captain. It looks like one of the components is missing from the system. We can beam someone from the transporter room but we can't beam them back."

Stepping down from the pad with all their clothes draped over her right arm, she studied him. "Missing? What component?" This was distinctly odd...then she caught a whiff of Neelix's cologne, which was even odder.

"I think I may have an idea Captain," the Doctor volunteered and she looked over at him only to see Naomi sneaking towards the exit with her hands behind her back. It was then that Kathryn remembered what the young girl had been up to when they first fell into the room.

"Naomi. Come here."

The little girl smiled sweetly. "But Captain, I have to get back to my-"

"*Now* young lady." Kathryn dropped all the clothes she was holding to the floor.

Knowing that the Captain wasn't going to let her go, Naomi slowly walked towards her, her head lowered towards the floor. Stopping just in front of the Captain she whispered "I'm sorry."

"Stow it," Janeway ordered then reached behind Naomi to grab the equipment she was still hiding. "Well well, what's this?"

Naomi looked shocked. "Why...I...how did *that* get there?"

"Indeed Naomi," the Doctor said "I seem to have the same problem. I can't walk through the transporter room without transporter components leaping into my hands."

Harry grinned. Naomi stuck her tongue out at him. Neelix frowned.

Kathryn sighed as she looked down at the equipment. "This is going to take hours to incorporate back into the transporter systems. I want you to go back to your quarters and think about what you've done young lady."

"Yes Ma'am," she whispered, tears in her eyes, as she lowered her head and slowly shuffled out the door. No one heard the evil laughter as the door closed and she ran down the corridor.

Janeway was interrupted from her disappointment when her com badge beeped. "Ayala to Janeway."

"Go ahead Lieutenant...er...Ensign...ummm...just what is your rank anyway?"

"Actually, I think I'm a Commander today."

"Well then Commander, what did you need to tell me?"

"We've detected an unscheduled transport of five people from transporter room one. I thought it best to inform you."

Hadn't she known this would happen? "Thank you for your vigilence Commander. I will look into it. Oh, and get someone from engineering to report to transporter room one for repairs. Janeway out." She quickly ended their conversation, not wanting to have to answer any questions he might have.

She turned towards her three remaining companions. "Come on you three. Let's see what we can do to help."

*

B'Elanna swore. "Fudge!! The f-luff-ing transporters won't respond." Angry, she hit the small access panel and ended up breaking it. "Whoops..."

"Oh well done," Tom commented.

Diving towards him, she pressed him against the wall, her elbow digging into his throat. "This is *not* a good time for your smart-ass comments! Do you understand?!"

"Yes...! he squeaked, gasping.

Nodding in satisfaction, she removed the elbow and stood back. She had no qualms about seeing Tom naked - they'd certainly seen enough of each other over the past two years. The others were something of a mixed bag. Chakotay she could cope with; they'd fought with each other in the Maquis, a situation which often meant losing any sense of shyness. Still, she hadn't known about his other tattoo...

Tuvok was a little too freaky to contemplate, so at all times she made sure to keep looking at his face. And as for Seven...why she certainly had a wonderful physique, the cavity where her breasts had been was quite disturbing. It seemed ignorant, she supposed, that she hadn't figured out that *every* part of Seven's body still had Borg implants of some kind.

Perhaps strangely, she had overcome her initial embarrassment rather rapidly. So, they'd seen her naked? So what?

"I would suggest we vacate the turbolift as Seven suggested," Tuvok said. "I realise that because the transporters are not functioning we will have to enter the corridor with no clothing, but we have few options to choose from."

"We could climb up the turbolift shaft..."

"Don't be ridiculous Tom." B'Elanna insisted. "I can just see it now - the five of us climbing, naked, when suddenly one of the doors opens accidentally and looking in is Vorik." She shook her head in disgust. "No thank you. I won't risk it."

Not seeing how that was any different from walking naked along the corridor, Chakotay nonetheless decided to agree with her. "Computer: is there anyone in the corridor directly outside this turbolift?"

"Negative."

"At least that's one piece of good news. Okay, the mess hall is only twenty feet to the right once we leave the turbolift. I suggest we make our way there then secure all the doors so no one can enter until we're all wearing clothes."

"I concur," Tuvok agreed "but how are you going to evacuate the mess hall of any crewmembers?"

Chakotay grinned. "Computer: patch me through to the audio systems in the mess hall only."

"Function complete."

"This is Commander Chakotay. Please evacuate the mess hall immediately and report to your duty stations. This is not a drill. Message ends." He smiled at everyone. "We should be clear to walk out in about ten seconds."

Seven regarded him. "An efficient plan Commander, although it does contain a flaw."

"Flaw?" Torres asked.

"Yes. As they have been asked to report to their duty stations some of them will undoubtedly want to use this turbolift to reach their destinations."

Chakotay's grin faded. "Computer-"

It was too late. The door opened and they found themselves face to various body parts with Samantha Wildman. Before she do anything other than gape at them in shock, Tom grabbed her and pulled her in.

As the doors swished shut behind her Chakotay quickly spoke. "Computer: do not allow anyone access to this turbolift, authorisation Chakotay beta nine."

"Confirmed."

Chakotay, Tom and B'Elanna sighed in relief. Tuvok and Seven merely rose their eyebrows.

Samantha started screaming.

Tom groaned. "Like mother, like daughter."

Chastity Katie, Part 10 -
Leola Root And Other Small Tragedies

*

Exclaiming something between a sigh and a growl, B'Elanna did the only thing she could. Reaching around Tom's body from behind she clapped her hand over Samantha's mouth. It may have been easy enough for Harry to restrain Naomi earlier, but Samantha was a lot bigger and B'Elanna figured Tom could use the help.

'Like mother, like daughter' Tom had muttered. He turned out to be right, as B'Elanna's attempt to shut Samantha up proved futile as the young mother kept talking. Extremely annoyed, B'Elanna took in a big lung-full before yelling "Shhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttt uuuuuupppppppppppp!!!"

She stopped talking.

Relieved, B'Elanna withdrew her hand and then realised that Tom was shaking his head. Her mouth *had* been awfully close to his ear. "Tom?" she asked.

No response.

"Tom?"

Still no response.

With a growing sense of "oh shit" she tapped him on the shoulder. He turned his neck to look at her. He seemed a bit glassy-eyed but otherwise fine. "Yeah?"

"Tom?" she repeated.

Blinking, he shook his head again and released his hold on his 'captive'. "I can't hear you. I can't hear *anything*."

At the front of the turbolift, Samantha huffed. "Well if you hadn't grabbed me in here in the first place none of this would have happened."

"Oh shut up."

"Although your argument is logical, it is hardly beneficial."

"Your comment is irrelevant."

"Yeah Samantha, Tom just lost his hearing. You're not being very helpful."

"What are you guys saying?"

Without much more incident they all managed to make it to the mess hall without being spotted. And now that Tom was spared of hearing any comment he might receive, he spoke just after Chakotay ordered that the doors to the mess hall be closed with only the Captain being able to override his password.

"Say Chakotay, I didn't know about your other tattoo."

Chakotay froze with his back towards Tom and no doubt said something colourful that the conn officer was for once glad he couldn't hear.

Seven rose her eyebrow at Tom's obvious amusement. Despite the fact that he had recently lost his hearing he seemed to be in tremendous good spirits. Human behaviour often baffled her, but it was not something that she should be expending time thinking about at this juncture.

"I suggest we discover which of us currently holds the highest amount of replicator rations and use them to create new clothing."

Everyone turned to look at Tom, who rose an eyebrow as everyone circled him. "What?"

*

Kathryn walked in just as everyone was getting dressed, which was quite clearly not the most dignified of positions they could have been in. Smirking, she led the Doctor, Harry and Neelix in behind her before ordering a lock on the doors once more.

When Chakotay saw who it was he quickly turned away and continued pulling up his trousers. Pausing just behind him she placed her hands on his still-bare back and whispered into his ear "Nice tattoo Commander."

Chakotay smirked softly.

Tom, who witnessed the scene and had no doubt as to what she had said, commented "Now why does he smile lovingly when *she* mentions the tattoo, but growls at me when I mention it?"

B'Elanna tutted as she tucked in her top. "Well that's obvious. He's not in love with you."

Seven overheard as she zipped up her temporary uniform. "The Commander is in love with the Captain?"

"You did not know?" Tuvok queried.

Seven shrugged, or at least a close approximation of a shrug. "The only couple I have had the opportunity to closely study are Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Paris. Their relationship is vastly different to the relationship the Captain has with Commander Chakotay."

"True," Neelix agreed "but that doesn't make the relationship any less valid."

Harry walked over with the Doctor, breasts wobbling. "Just because they don't share the burning passion that Tom and B'Elanna do doesn't mean-"

"Burning passion?" The Doctor laughed. "I wouldn't go that far."

B'Elanna snorted. "I'm not sure I would eith-" She stopped mid-conversation as she spotted something interesting. "It's a good thing Naomi's not here."

Samantha frowned, although she was glad to finally have something to say. "Why?"

The half-Klingon nodded behind Samantha and nearly everyone turned to see Janeway and Chakotay engaged in a severe breach of protocol.

Neelix bent down on his knees to get a better view. "I didn't think that was humanly possible. I mean, I knew Talaxians could, but *humans*..."

"The human form is much more flexible than one would suspect Mr Neelix."

"Commander Tuvok is correct, although there is obviously not much more they can do with the chastity belt in place. It is imperative that we remove it at once."

"And how do you suggest we do that?" B'Elanna asked, hands on hips since Janeway had her hands on someone elses hips.

The Doctor piped up. "I still say my technique was the best option."

Harry shook his head. "Your 'technique' involved cutting the Captain in half."

Trying to ignore the couple who had now fallen to the ground behind them, the Doctor laughed, rather embarrassed.

Sudden inspiration ran rampant through the Talaxian's mind. "I know!"

"Woah, man, look at them go at it!" Tom yelled, only just finishing getting dressed.

Samantha ignored Tom, pushing strands of her fly-away hair behind her ears. "What? What's your idea Neelix?"

Surprised at her stupidity or apparent ignorance (or both), Harry, the EMH, Tuvok, Seven and B'Elanna faced her and said the same two words:

"Leola root."

Chastity Katie, Part 11 - Corrosive Leola Root And Payback

*

Some time later Janeway and Chakotay had been pulled apart and now she was lying on top of the counter. Neelix had prepared his leola root. Knowing about the noxious fumes that were likely to be given off, almost everyone stood on the other side of the room with face masks that were replicated using the last of Tom's replicator rations. Of course he didn't know about that little fact yet. No one had been able to tell him. The Doctor had informed them that his hearing would return on its own in due course, and B'Elanna admitted to being a little relieved.

The only substance that could withstand the corrositivity of leola root was, of course, leola root. A specially carved bowl of the infamous root was produced by Neelix - although when he'd had the time to carve it was anyone's guess.

The Doctor would perform the procedure, being overseen by Neelix. Chakotay remained purely for emotional support. That, and he wanted to get his hands on her as soon as the chastity belt was removed. Janeway was thankful for his presence. She was getting distinctly nervous. Oh sure, she'd faced down Kazon, Vidiians, Borg, Species 8472 and the Hirogen...but she'd never had to face the full horror of corrosive leola root before.

Neelix was just a little bit too short so to get into the right angle he dragged a chair over and stood on that. He grinned down at the patient. "You ready Captain?"

She exhaled but smiled bravely. "Proceed Mr Neelix, Doctor."

The Doctor snapped open his emergency medical kit and extracted a tricorder. "Now, are you absolutely sure you want to go through with this? I can understand why you want the belt removed, but if something goes wrong I'm sure you're aware of what the consequences will be."

Squeezing Chakotay's hand, she nodded. "Absolutely positive."

"Very well. Please put your face masks on."

Chakotay, Janeway and Neelix snapped them into position and nodded to confirm that they were all ready. Janeway grabbed Chakotay's hand again.

Smiling mostly to comfort his patient, the EMH began. The others looked on from the end of the room, ominously.

"Mr Neelix, a sliver of leola root please."

Reaching for his supply at the end of the counter, Neelix handed over a small chunk.

"This might hurt a bit," the Doctor warned and pressed the sliver under the rim of the chastity belt. Janeway winced as it dug into her skin uncomfortably.

"And another one please," he instructed, and did the same with that sliver.

Soon there were five pieces of leola root under the rim of the belt. "Captain, this is the location where we will place the corrosive leola root; these pieces are here for your protection."

"Okay," she answered quietly.

The EMH nodded towards the Talaxian. "Mr Neelix, please bring me the bowl."

"Yes Doctor," he answered, hopping down from his chair. For the operation Neelix had boiled down several lots of leola root, which bubbled menacingly in the specially made bowl.

Placing it on the edge of the counter, he climbed back up onto his chair and then handed to the bowl to the Doctor. A small section of the edge of the bowl had been made into a little spout so the Doctor had an obvious place to pour from.

"I'm going to start now Captain."

Nodding slowly, she tried to ignore the bead of sweat that was running down the side of her face. She closed her eyes. What if this was it? What if something went horribly wrong? What if she died?

Her eyes opened and she stared at her first officer. "Chakotay, take off your mask." Her voice was slightly mumbled through her own, but her words were clear.

Neelix and the Doctor gaped at her. "Captain?"

Chakotay needed no further urging, tearing off his mask and throwing it towards the wall. Janeway laughed, throwing her own in the same direction. He leant down towards her. She reached up her hands to touch the side of his face. "Do it Doctor. That's an order."

He did it.

She grabbed Chakotay's face and kissed him.

The leola root liquid dripped onto the belt, and immediately the unknown metal began blackening.

Chakotay broke the kiss only briefly to grab a chair. Quickly he knelt up on it so he was at a slightly more managable position. They resumed kissing.

A small section of the metal began bubbling. The Doctor stopped dripping the substance, allowing what had already been poured to do its work. Giving the bowl back to Neelix and grabbing his tricorder he scanned the belt. "I think it's working," he declared.

Janeway and Chakotay didn't hear him.

"It's reaching the locking mechanism!" he exclaimed, although he frowned as the noxious fumes started emerging.

The crowd on the other side of the room held a collective breath.

With a loud 'PING' the belt undid.

"It's unlocked! Mr Neelix, another sliver please." Using that one to wipe away any excess corrosive leola root, he pulled the Captains robe back down and since she seemed to be too busy, he pulled the belt off her himself.

Moving to the other side of the counter towards the audience, he held the belt up in the air with both hands.

The crowd went wild, screaming into their face masks.

Neelix, still standing on his chair, leant down. "Umm...Captain? Commander?"

"Mmm?"

"You can...you know...ahem...well let's just say the chastity belt isn't a problem anymore."

The pulled away from each other. Janeway spoke. "Id idn't?" Her mouth felt like rubber.

"Nope," the Talaxian grinned.

Janeway looked at Chakotay who was looking right back. They grinned. Leaping from the chair he was kneeling on, he quickly picked her up and carried her towards the exit. "Computer: unlock door. Authorisation Chakotay beta nine!"

"Confirmed."

The door whoosed open.

Chakotay shouted "I'm gonna go to my quarters and make love to my Captain!"

The audience applauded.

"No way bucko. *MY* quarters." Janeway insisted.

The women in the room started chanting. "Go Janeway, go Janeway..."

"No, mine." he responded.

"*Mine*."

"No-"

They ended up at hers.

*

A sonic shower and some time afterwards, they lay across her bed. Chakotay winced. "That carpet burn is bugging the hell out of me."

Janeway smirked, her face nearly buried into a pillow. "I seem to remember that being your idea."

"So I was a little excited. Can you blame me?"

Of course she couldn't. "No, I-did you hear that?" She sat up, frowning.

"Hear what?"

"It sounded like..." Getting up from her bed she wandered around her quarters. She found it on the bathroom floor. Slowly bending down, she picked it up and cradled it to her chest. Finding the piece of paper attached to it, she read the words.

'Dear Captain,

Modifications as requested. Luckily there wasn't too much damage and we were able to weld a control panel on. Current password for release is 'payback'.

Regards and I hope you're having a good time,

B'Elanna'.

Janeway smiled.

Peeking around the doorway to the bedroom she saw that he was still on the bed with his eyes closed. Carefully placing the object next to the bed, she went to the replicator. "One white scarf."

The scarf materialised and his eyes snapped open. Sauntering towards him, she climbed across the bed.

"I want to try something," she whispered.

He only nodded, incapable of speech.

Leaning forward she tied the scarf around his head, covering his eyes. "Now just relax," she instructed in a sultry tone. Reaching down besides the bed, she picked up the object. "Raise your hips."

He did as requested. She slid the object underneath him. "Lower your hips."

Moving back down to the bed, he frowned when he felt the hard surface beneath him. "Wha-?"

"Shhh," she placed a finger over his mouth "no questions."

Reaching to the far side, she picked up that edge of the chastity belt and pulled it into place. Then carefully manipulating a certain part of his anatomy so it would fit in the 'modifications', she pulled the other side up until it all clicked together. The control panel started flashing the word 'LOCKED'.

Leaning forward she undid the scarf and removed it. He was still frowning. When she moved back he looked down and started screaming.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

She slid off the bed and picked up her robe. "This is for all the times I was frustrated. This is for all the times you turned me on and I couldn't do anything about it. This is for the other women you've been with. This, my dear Chakotay, is revenge."

By now she'd pulled her robe on and was walking towards the exit.

"But-I-...you...this isn't fair!"

Turning back to face him, she put her hands on her hips. "Don't worry. I'll take it off after a week."

He pointed towards the belt. "But...my *thing*...you know, it needs room to move!"

Sighing, she moved forward and sat next to him on the bed. "Oh come on Chakotay," she leant down and quickly kissed him on the lips "we can't always leave them hanging, now can we?"

~FINIS

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