Disclaimer - "Et tu, Locutus?" Caeser asked as he was assimilated by the Para-Borg.
Trust me to take serious subject matter and have a laugh with it. And I WAS going to use Janeway and AHOTW because it would fit into the shows continuity nicely (continuity on Voyager? Ha!) but Rebecca told me not to. So that part of this story is her fault. Heh.
This story contains spoilers for the episode 'Thirty Days', although I haven't seen it myself yet so I apologise for any inconsistancies. Oh, and purely for my own reasons the brig has now been changed and has a door directly to the holding area, although there is still a forcefield in place at the door entrance.
This is the second story I owe Lady V, and this is also for Sprite who wanted more cheery stories.
*
It was the fourteenth day of his isolation and Thomas Eugene Paris lay on his bed, staring at the wall. The way he had done for the past eleven days. The first three days he had moved about, exercising, trying to keep himself active. But now...he felt himself slipping into depression, something that had long lingered in the background but he'd always managed to avoid or ignore. So now, he lay on his bed, staring at the beige walls.
Thinking.
Waiting.
Regretting.
He had no idea it was actually his fourteenth day. He didn't know what time it was, what day it was. He had no access to anything, but he'd been trying to keep track of the time somehow. Tom kept wondering when his visitor was going to arrive - the only visitor he was permitted, and certainly not at his own request.
Sighing even seemed futile now, so he simply pursed his lips slightly and began reciting poetry in his head.
There was a young woman from Nantucket
Whose boyfriend told her to-
Someone beeped for entry, which was entirely pointless in Tom's opinion. But hey, it did feel like he still had a little piece of power. "Who is it?"
"It's me, Mr Paris."
Recognising the voice, Tom sat up on his bed and hung his legs over the side. "Come in."
The Doctor entered with a confident smile on his face, a padd in one hand and a tricorder in the other. "Hello Lieu-umm...Mr Paris. Time for your weekly examination."
Determined not to show how he was being affected by the loneliness, Tom stood and splayed his arms dramatically. "Go on Doc - take your best shot. I'm sure my readings will have changed a lot since your last scan. The amount of physical activity I've been doing would be enough to change anyone's sensor readings."
Rolling his eyes and sighing in his own memorable style, the Doctor placed the padd on Tom's bunk and opened the tricorder. As he began running his scans and the usual beep of a tricorder could be heard, Tom glanced down at the object Doc had just put on his bed. "What's on the padd?"
"Oh...nothing important," the EMH insisted, although his tone was incredibly light. He was clearly hiding something.
Tom crossed his arms over his chest.
The Doctor continued scanning before speaking. "You've been spending too much time with Ms Torres. You've even begun picking up her mannerisms."
The arms stayed firmly in place.
"Not to mention her stubborness," he added.
Still getting no response, the Doctor finally finished his scans. "You're in perfect health. You're as fit as a Stradivarius." Laughing slightly at his own small joke he picked up the padd when he noticed Tom wasn't smiling in the slightest. "Very well. Take a seat Mr Paris. I can only spend a maximum of five minutes in here with you, and we have a few things to go through."
"Such as?" Tom asked, uncrossing his arms.
"Take a seat and I'll tell you."
Agreeing begrudgingly, Tom sat and tried to keep the anticipation from appearing on his face. He had no idea if this was going to be interesting or worrying. Or both.
Standing on the opposite side of the small room, the Doctor clipped the tricorder onto his uniform, activated the padd and cleared his throat. He began to speak.
"Number one. Lieutenant Torres sends her best wishes and love, and also hopes that you're coping well." Pausing, the EMH looked at Tom. "Oh, she also told me to tell you that you're a pig."
Tom smiled gently.
The Doctor continued. "Number two. Ensign Kim has challenged you to a pool tornament the day after you're released. He thought you might be a little *busy* the evening of your release." He rose his eyebrows at this to emphasise his point but kept his eyes on the information he was reading. "Number three. Your suspicions about Ayala and Susan Nicoletti have been confirmed - four days ago they officially announced their wedding plans."
Tom jumped up and punched a hand through the air. "I *knew* it!"
"Yes, you were quite right. They've been secretly dating for several months now. We were all quite impressed with how you guessed that something was going on."
"I've always been a studier of relationships, Doc."
"Indeed, but let's continue. Number four. Neelix has lost almost all of his leola root supply after a highly suspicious freak fire incident in the airponics bay, that was curiously contained to the leola root crops. No suspects have been named yet, but Tuvok has drawn up a list of almost 150 suspects."
The pilot/nurse chuckled, even if he didn't believe the story for a moment and sat back down again.
"And finally, the Captain and Commander have had sex. That's it." Turning towards the exit, he was stopped by a very shocked Tom who had leapt up and grabbed his arm.
"They WHAT?" he demanded, voice full of disbelief.
The hologram looked down at Tom's hand. "The Captain and Commander have had sex."
But the human kept shaking his head. "But...I...was it any good? How many times? Did anyone get a holoprogramme of it? How the hell did you find out?!"
"Calm down! I'll tell you what I *do* know."
Letting go of his arm, Tom stepped back although not by much.
"Thank you," the Doctor told him. "Now, we don't know *all* of the details, but what we do know is this: two days ago B'Elanna walked into the weapons locker and found them in the middle of...well...physical examinations of their own kind. From all accounts if was the first time they'd do done so. Captain Janeway was heard quite clearly to be saying "Typical. The first time we-" before the Commander started laughing."
Still shaking his head in shock, Tom backed away before looking up at the ceiling and turning on the spot. He started laughing. "I don't believe this..."
"Believe what? That they finally had sex?"
He stopped turning. "No, that I *missed* it! I mean...Doc we've been keeping tabs on those two for *five years*. Wondering if they were ever gonna get together. If they already had but we didn't know. If they'd even only kissed!" His arms were moving wildly now. "But...now it happens...we have *proof*...and I'm in here! I have so many bets to collect in on, and all I get is second hand information!"
"Well I'm sorry you're upset Mr Paris..."
"I'm not upset. Not exactly. It's just...we've waited for so long, and they finally have sex while I'm trapped in here. If you ask me, the timing's a little too good for it to be coincidence. I bet they were waiting for this opportunity."
Now it was the Doctor who shook his head. "Somehow I doubt that the Captain and Commander base their sexual relationship around you, Mr Paris."
"It's highly suspicious."
"Maybe so. And I'd like to debate this with you further, but our time is up." He deactivated the padd. "See you next week."
"Yeah," Tom replied dejectedly "see you then."
Nodding, the Doctor opened the doors with the press of a button and stepped through.
Alone again, Tom fell back onto his bed and contemplated everything he had just heard and how much he was looking forward to Doc's next visit. He frowned. He had to be in a really bad situation if the most exciting part of his week was looking forward to the next update from a hologram with a bad attitude.
*
As soon as the Doctor was out of range of the guards outside of Tom's 'cell', B'Elanna rushed up to him.
"Well?" she demanded "Did it work?"
"Oh I think it's safe to say his mood has improved. Although he was somewhat annoyed that he missed what's been going on."
The chief engineer grinned. "Come on Doc. We have work to do."
"Indeed we do Lieutenant. I've had a brilliant suggestion from Seven about my visit next week involving a malfunction on the holodeck - DaVinci from the Captains holoprogramme finds himself in the middle of Neelix's resort programme..."
~FINIS